So. Quite often, I find the rule of my life is all about what's convenient. Which is not necessarily bad. In fact, if you look at our country, most of our lives are centered around more convenience. We have convenience stores. We have lots and lots of very convenient transportation. We have convenient quick-pay gas stations. We have fast food. We have the internet- convenient information. Convenient lunch menus. So on and so forth. Bleh, I can't think of any really gripping examples, but anyways. I find that in my own life, many times, the primary "principle" which dictactes how I live in any particular situation is this: How convenient is it for me? This attitude manifests itself in many many ways. One of which is driving. Somebody cuts me off, I get irritated because I have to slam on the breaks. I cut someone off because, hey, its just more convenient than slowing down to get behind them. Or, wait two hour to meet with someone who happens to be late? "What?! Two whole hours?! You MUST be kidding!" Even in the more subtle ways, I find myself weighing options in a decision by how much trouble they are to me. Will I have to deal with crap from this person? Is that crap worth the trouble? Now, this attitude in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, its a completely consistent philosophy in today's commercialized society. What's it gonna cost me, and what will I get out of it? However. Though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons which we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. The fundamental thing here is not that the attitude is inherently evil. Which, I believe, it is not. Take away the convenience attitude, and you have not taken away any sinfulness. Sinful nature exists regardless of whether you're Bill Gates or an ascetic monk in China. However, the problem is that for Christians, the attitude is contrary to our very identity in Jesus Christ. We are to love God with the whole of our hearts, our souls, our minds, and our strengths. We are to love others as God has loved us. To love God is to obey God. "We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands." Chris Kim gave an analogy at this past retreat which is fitting. He had Michael stuff animal crackers in his mouth. Each cracker represented a worldly treasure. A degree. Intelligence. A nice house. A nice garage. Then, he asked Michael to fit a piece of bread in his mouth. The problem was, the bread just didn't fit. Mike could only eat a very little amount. Likewise, to live with the attitude of seeking my own convenience isn't necessarily bad in itself, but it's a mindset that completely misses the point. And the problem with that is that if I already have a mindset, I can't have the mind of Christ. I can only have so much mind. I try to fit God into my convenience mindset. "How can I get God to bless and enhance my life?" That is so utterly wrong. We demolish every attitude that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Grace is not just some spiritual soap in which I wake up each morning, take a grace shower and am clean for the day to go on my merry way and do whatever pleases me. Make no mistake, Eric, to honor God requires obedience, and obedience is to be a living sacrifice. Every waking moment, "Lord, what are you up to? What do you want? What do I do in this situation?" That's why my life isn't abounding in God's glory. Cause I'm not living FOR God's glory, I'm living for my own convenience. I've got to spit those crackers out so I can have some bread that will fill my soul for all of eternity. Grace is God's unfailing love for me. Grace is God's kindness that leads me to repentance. Grace is the glory of God to forgive me. Grace is the glory of God to fulfill in me what no law or religion could do. Grace is God's power in my utter weakness. WHAT IF, in any specific moment, God is calling me to a simple act of obedience? "Don't go." or "Say Hi to this person." or "Call Joey." or "Show him the love of Christ" and I think about it, then say, "Well, that'd be inconvenient." Such a tiny action, such a small step of faith could open huge doors. The glory of God is at the door of heaven waiting to be revealed into this earth, and by my ignorance, God's awesome will is passed off as a mere inconvenience. What an absolute tragedy! God's glory missed for the inconvenience of a merely lazy and ignorant man ... I think our lives are full of these moments, the what ifs are real way beyond mere hypothetical situations. Lord, teach me not to desire my own convenience, but instead to seek your glory in every single situation you place me in. Teach me to listen for your voice and to obey your every command. Remove all of my fears and make me crazy for you. Lord, remind me always that "he who is faithful with what he's been given will be given more." Lord, help me to love you and love others way more than I love my own selfish convenience. God, please utterly demolish this attitude out of me, I welcome your discipline in my life. I know it may hurt, but I know that the harvest of righteousness is so worth any pain it may cost. I thank you that you understand me better than I understand myself, and I thank you that you're so patient with me, that you know all of my flaws and weaknesses. Lord, I pray that this would be so so much more than just some empty words in a journal entry, and that your divine power would make this an utter reality in my life.