Merry Christmas?? At church, the Pastor shared a few reasons why he doesn't like Christmas very much. 1) we don't even know when Jesus was really born 2) God never asked us to remember his birth 3) its a stressful time consumed with gift giving, etc. I dunno, I'd have to agree with him. Not my favorite holiday. So... merry Christmas! :-)

Winamp 5 was recently released. After using it for a day, I'm pretty impressed. Seems snazzy, eye-candy wise. Seems stable. And seems snappy, performance wise. Good combination.

Woke up this morning listening to another great sermon, called Lessons from my grandfather by Charles Stanley. It's really cool to learn stuff from older people, especially those who've been walking steadfastly with Jesus for a long time in their lives. "Trust and obey, there is no other way." Reading Watchman Nee's book "The Spiritual Man," I think the one thing that by far stood out the most is this - the surest route to spiritual maturity is to say yes to God ... forget the excuses, rationalizations, pussyfootin, delayed obedience stuff. Just, "I might not agree or understand, or it really hurts .. but you're God, and you're trustworthy, so YES, I will." God doesn't lose anything from us not responding in obedience. He simply waits until we're ready, and will slowly apply the pressure via circumstances of life until that test is passed. And this has consistently been a principle and attitude that allows people to continue growing closer to God, instead of hitting a roadblock and then going on circles and not progressing. And this is never without benefit -- the blessings of obedience, though seemingly painful at the time, are sweet and pleasant and awesome. Man, what a great, valuable reminder all of this has been for me. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."

Tried to catch the Leonid Meteor Shower but didn't see anything. Well I did see things, but no shooting stars. The night was very crisp, cool, and clear. The moon was slung low, quarter crescent, and the stars twinkled and winked smartly thru the night. I hadn't seen that many stars from the city in as long as I can remember. But I didn't catch any shooting stars. Seems like that's it, though, as far as spectacular meteor showers for the next couple of decades ... until maybe 2030? So maybe when I'm an elderly gentleman, if I still dwell on this earth, I can take my kids out and share how the last time I saw shooting stars was waay back in 2001 ... "As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more ..."

Wow. This morning, listened to a sermon by Charles Stanley about God's empowering presence and it gave me such a hunger and longing for intimacy with God. It's so great to be able to simply sit still, and be satisfied with God. I ask, "When was the last time you heard from God?" There's nothing more encouraging.

It's been good to be alive. Along with I think about half the people I know, I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life. It's quite a good book, and takes about 40 days to finish.

servants of Christ, bought by a price a love so sweet, so divine truth that brightens the eyes convicts the heart with a warmth divine and ultimately a freedom ... that is too good for words free from the shackles of death, sin, sickness with hope springing forth, unending, never ending, enduring forever and the struggle between flesh and spirit ends in an easy and restful surrender because the Lord is gentle and humble in spirit he doesn't accuse, but invites and beckons us to die daily a death so sweet to live a life in his abundance if only people knew the depths of Jesus Christ

Dude, some guy just jumped into the Niagra Falls impulsively. That's pretty ... impulsive. Check it out here.

The silver bullet for spam... Bayesian filtering I'm using the Mozilla Thunderbird e-mail client, which supports this filtering. I happen to get a lot of spam in my softhome.net account, so I'll train this filter and see how effective it is in sorting out spam from real mail...

Lord, change our hearts and lives. Heidi Baker speaks again at the Cambridge Vineyard ... Right click and save it to your computer.

*so bored* tears

"What does it mean to 'proclaim the gospel'? How can you do so in a way that both wakes up/converts the religious and yet also engages more secular people? Answer: Christ-centered interpretation and preaching. You must always preach every text in such a way that it reveals Jesus and his saving work. Ed Clowney points out that if we ever tell a particular Bible story without putting it into the overall main Bible story (about Christ), we actually change the meaning of the particular event for us. It becomes a moralistic exhortation to 'try harder' rather than a call to live by faith in the work of Christ. There is, in the end, only two ways to read the Bible: is it basically about me or basically about Jesus? In other words, is it basically about what I must do, or basically about what he has done?"

Nursing a bit of an illness right now, still at work though. Things have been slow around here lately. Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of California? Incredible. I guess that's just as likely, if not more so than a former wrestling icon becoming a political figure, as an independant, nonetheless.

"You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom." It's so difficult to be deadly honest with myself. Many times, its easier to just be either in denial with regards to where my heart is, to feel perfectly justified and OK. Either that, or the tendency shifts to the other end of the spectrum, where its easy to become mindlessly self-deprecating, exhibiting before God a false sense of humility. But to just sit in the light, and let God examine the heart is scary. I'm scared to find out who I really am, how there is no possible way for me to measure up to God's standard - and even if I know this in my mind, I deny it in my heart .. but if I listen closely to the Lord and just sit still and stop trying to justify myself all the time, I know it ... I am woefully inadequate in all regards. And even the areas where I think I am strongest, are my "redemptive qualities," are of the most value, are really utterly meaningless. But at that place of helplessness, there are two roads - either a road to despair and self-pity. Or a road that is shining bright with the light of God's love, to say, "I love you and have given myself up for you." I still can hardly grasp the mystery of Jesus' life dwelling inside of me, yet everyday the evidence flows forth in abundance, of the love of God, the hope of God, the kindness of God, the justice of God and what I really need to do is to sit still, stop squirming around, to rest and relax in the love of Christ, to see, and to believe. (ok i'm not even going to bother to be coherent anymore) Anyway, not with the intention to be introspective, but the wrestling has continued and I've not been very submissive to the will of God - rebellion. And even though our culture seems to suggest submission is a bad thing, a sign of weakness or lack of spine. Well maybe, but its a pretty honest posture before the Creator of all things to submit and acknowledge my weakness and his greatness. To try and stand proud before him is some crazy talk and an invitation for an appointment with the humble stick. But yeah, submission to God is not necessarily a painful thing, but the most beautiful and desirable thing, despite what our culture teaches us about the word "submit." The greatest evidence of this truth is to observe the life of someone who is continually submissive to the Lord, and inevitably the fragrance of their lives is so sweet and lovely, and quite different to the other flavors of the world. Of greatest, eternal value, delightful to God and fragrant before man. I'm writing all of this because, noting the lack of entries in the past weeks, I've found it difficult to write about anything in particular, and while I see other journalists (heh heh) deferring writing about themselves to linking to other articles, giving commentary to the world's Goings Ons -- for myself I find that to be a sort of busyness, a distraction, and a simple indulgence that's not really worth the "breath" so to speak. But yeah, I've been unable to update probably because of a resistance to firstly be honest with myself before the Lord, and then secondly to be honest and transparent before whatever you are (internet people). So here's my first foray back into this place ... and oh what a rambling mess ..

Have the song "Drowning in your eyes" by Ephraim Lewis stuck in my head all morning.

Feel the ground it's slipping away Like a sigh that greets the close of day Feel the waters' welcoming arms Embrace me in the quiet calm I can't hear what you say anymore Just the sound of trees on the ocean floor Irresistably drawn from the shore I'm drowning in your eyes I'm floating out to sea Helpless on the restless tide That flows between you and me Moving slowly as if in a dream The colours change from blue to green All around me reflections of you In forests deep I'm passing through In the swell of the storm we're as one We're dancing in the morning sun Could it be that we've only just begun

The weekend is here! Rejoice when you face trials of many kinds! There is a specific purpose behind it all. Run the race with endurance, as so many others are going thru at this very moment.

This morning, taking a shower, I thought about the different attributes of the people of God. Each guy had sort of a different style, or uniqueness about them, in reflecting what being "a man of God" really is. None of these were the "ultimate right answer" but each are dear to the heart of God and served his purposes faithfully. Solomon - asked for and received wisdom David - had a pure heart for God Paul - perservered, unwaveringly Moses - was exceedingly humble Elijah - displayed the power of God Abraham - walked by faith, not by sight Daniel - was intimate with God through prayer Ezekiel - knew the sorrow of God for his people Isaiah - saw the coming salvation Jacob - simply shows God's sovereignty in election Joseph - displayed a life of having favor with God Samuel - listened to God from his youth to his old age John the disciple - was loved by Jesus John the baptist - a fearless speaker of truth

Interesting videos made by Korean Americans from UCLA.

There are 6 Matrix Revolutions trailers to be found here.

This year the JOY award (Jerk of the Year) has two awardees. Can we give it up for ... SCO (Santa Cruz Operations), and the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America)! Congrats! First up: SCO SCO's pathetic attempt to claim ownership to Linux is just jaw-droppingly lame. 1) Before they began spouting these ridiculous claims, guess what? SCO's top officers have been doing nothing but selling off their stocks. Umm, c'mon how obvious can this be. Apparently they've got a lot of confidence in their claims. Red flag, anybody? 2) They say pieces of code in Linux are from UNIX System V (for which they own the license). Although they haven't released all the examples they've supposedly found (saving it for the courtroom), the ones they have found have been proven to be very flaky - an indication to the nature of their claims, built upon lies, smoke & mirrors. 3) In response to Bruce Perens' picking apart their presentation, they respond with an open letter, in which the original article is completely misquoted and taken out of context. This is getting more blatantly absurd by the day. fin: I hope IBM stomps these fools into the ground in the courtroom. In fact, this is so totally unethical I hope these guys go to jail - and not the white collar kind, but the pound me in the ass prison (sorry). It really makes me want to hurl just reading about this stuff, so I try not to. If you want more details, here's a website that gives continual updates and a detailed scoop. This is such a mockery of the American legal system, of businesses, of consumers, admittedly each of which are far from perfect, but this is the kid who has chocolate smeared all over his face and fingers, pointing at some other kid claiming loudly and vehemently that the other kid ate the candy - bold lies, no conscience whatsoever. Our next friend: RIAA The RIAA has a legal (by the letter, but arguably not in spirit) claim to music. While I'm no advocate of music piracy, the bullying tactics employed by the RIAA are enough to sour any sympathy they might have with the public. They consistently produce claims that are ridiculous - its insulting and incredibly patronising the way they're treating the very people who've been putting money into their pockets for so many years. What makes it worse is that these people are nothing but middle men - they don't create the music, they don't listen to the people who buy the music, they don't promote good will (inflated CD prices), pretty much they have no redeeming quality for anyone. They just sit in the middle and make a hat-load of money. Their claims are inflated and reek of a legalistic self-righetousness - stomping over businesses, the public, the government in a messy fit of indignation. Yes, it'll make you wanna puke. 1) Instead of identifying consumer trends wisely & going with it (a la Apple's iTunes) they're going with the communist China approach of "You've violated us - now you will die." They're haphazardly handing out subpoenas - strongarm scare tactics. I've never heard of anyone doing anything like this before. 2) 12 year old girl sued for music downloading. 3) a google search for riaa tactics will reveal pages upon pages of stories of how disgustingly they've gone about this whole thing. 4) the RIAA has kindly offered an amnesty program. Thanks guys. You're the best. From the article about the 12-yr-old girl: "Nobody likes playing the heavy and having to resort to litigation," said Cary Sherman, the RIAA's president. "But when your product is being regularly stolen, there comes a time when you have to take appropriate action." Aww poor Cary. Cause you worked so hard to write that song all by yourself, and now the bad people have come and stolen it from you. The irony is after ripping off the American people for so long, they can't stand to have a taste of their own.

Cell phone irony

This morning, while sitting in my room, it gently dawned on me again. Do you know how good it is, to know and trust in a sovereign God, who is also genuinely kinder than any person I've ever met on the planet? I could imagine nothing better. And I've experienced nothing better in life. God is all powerful. And he loves me as a son. Could it be true? Undoubtedly so. By faith, I trust in him, and each step of the way, his specific acts and words of kindness have been so real. My experience in this world has taught me to basically expect the worst, because that's probably what you're gonna get in any given situation. I wasn't born with this cynicism - its a defense mechanism the world has brutually taught me through the years. And so I bring this mentality with me when I come to God, yet I find myself repeatedly disarmed by his gentleness, kindness, and creativity. Not only do I not get the worst, I get way better than I could've come up with by myself. And he takes so much pleasure in displaying the riches of his kindness to me. Man, what an awesome God! And on the flipside, I think about how scary it is, to have emnity with the all-powerful God, whose justice and righteousness are beyond all comprehension. A God who declares that all sin must be paid for. And that line between falling into the judgment of God, or resting in his mercies forever - lies one single, gigantic, and simple truth - Jesus is Lord. Either he can pay for our sins, or we can pay for it ourselves. But the cost is simply more than we can afford. Not one hundred thousand acts of good will, not being a good person, not even practicing the right religion or going to the right church or temple consistently could ever pay the price. The bible declares "that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." God has made it so simple that a child could enter into his mercies.

Back to the grind, from the Labor day getaway. Vacations are so so nice. I noticed how refreshed I felt, being back at work after a 4 day weekend. Incidentally, I just read a blurb on Ars Technica regarding the productivity of US workers. The ensuing discussion thread was rather interesting as well. Compared to European culture, Americans get a piddling amount of vacation time. From what I read, many European countries, by law require employees to have 25 days of vacation per year! OK anyway, the grass is always greener. I'm really thankful for my job - it's a fantastic fit for the things that I'm interested in, and good at. And the vacation time I do have, and the 40 hour work weeks really aren't bad at all. So I'll shut my mouth now. Heck, I'm not in a third-world country pick-pocketing tourists for the local gangs or whatnot, just to survive. Or living in a one-room house with 10 other people, working 10 hour days 7 days a week to make $200 a year. Actually, in the kingdom perspective, do those things even matter? Everyone has a time & a place in this intricate tapestry of life, and to strive 50-60 years to simply improve quality of life ... and then die, seems so meaningless. Or to pass on an inheritance of wealth or quality of life to the next generation, for what?

In New Jersey, at my cousin's house right now. Pretty nice around here. Its unbelievable how many people are in Manhattan. Just a sea of people & cars. This keyboard is really loud and clicky and my cousin is sleeping right now so I gotta go see ya.

What should be the husband's role in marriage? Oh I see! OK, what, then, should be the wife's role in marriage?

Urbana (December 27-31, 2003) is a convention that the Lord will use to change and equip lives for his purpose.

Urbana 03 is both about your future and about your life today. We learn about God’s heart for people in the remotest hills and for the students on our dorm floors. All people are equally valuable to a King who died so we might live. While Urbana conventions always feature some well-known speakers, delegates invariably remember for the rest of their lives the ten-minute testimony of that African missionary who got stoned by villagers, or of that old lady who was held prisoner in Vietnam. Urbana speakers are not necessarily great people of God, but they are always people of a great God. There is nothing quite like an Urbana convention. The atmosphere is at once like a family and a city. People return from the convention changed forever. Being in a posture of submission to God’s reign in your life, you may be stunned by how bright, big, and alive is the world, and how great is its need for Jesus. At Urbana 03, join 20,000 college students, missionaries, and church and campus leaders. Seek God’s will for your life. Worship with people of diverse cultures. Learn about God’s passionate love for the world through Bible study, prayer, seminars, and dynamic speakers. Explore opportunities to serve in God’s Kingdom. Impact the world.

If you're trying to decide, maybe this will help decide should I go? Hope to see you there.

In life, its so easy to get caught up in the lack of. Whether its lack of control, time, strength, or money. Or perhaps more personally - lack of love, lack of obedience, lack of discernment, or wisdom. These things can be immediately overwhelming. Or if not, then like a small burden that continues to grow - like a bag of rice we can't put down and someone keeps adding a grain at a time, never ceasing - until the bag just becomes too unwieldy and frustrating to carry any more. In my own life, I feel struggles in many areas: lack of courage - standing up for the things I believe in. Lack of conviction - a compromise of what I know to be truth. Lack of love, lack of ability, and on and on. The easiest way to discern where our eyes are - either looking at our inadequacies, or fixed on God's ability, and willingness to do on our behalf - on his own behalf - the easiest way to tell where our hearts are focused is in response to these inadequacies. Do I find myself in mild despair and hopelessness, or do I find, in that very moment, an overflowing joy in the adequacy of God? God can do it. God will do it. Perhaps a person finds that God has placed in them a willing heart to serve him, yet, the call just seems to difficult or too lofty. Ministry? Not me. I mean, I'd like to please God in serving him, but I'm not capable of it - it's just not who I am. My character is too deeply flawed; I struggle with this sin or that; I'm not smart enough; people don't listen to me; my personal history tells me I fail when I try ... I find that there are two simple steps we can take that are very encouraging and effective. Firstly, sometimes we don't allow ourselves to dream because in our hearts, we inevitably know our dreams will never come true, that to hope, is to eventually have to give up hope - and where hope goes, despair sets in. Well, I've discovered that to just close the eyes, and answer the question, "what if there were no limitations?? what if there were no boundaries? what would life look like?" And to just take the leap - totally dream. And secondly, to then rejoice in the God who - "will do more than we can ask for or imagine." To know and stand firm in the knowledge in our hearts that God loves dreams, particularly dreams that are in line with his own heart. So, first we dream, then in the midst of the dream, God blesses us with the eyes to see that "hey, these things can come to pass! In fact, why wouldn't it happen?" Faith is the one thing that moves the hand of God, and it pleases him tremendously when we say, "without you God, there's no way, ever, this could happen. but with you God, because you said so, it's as good as done." And as we dream, and begin to believe, God will illuminate for us one step at a time to get to that place. It's his promise - "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." God said so, its a done deal! Dream. At least once a week. The bible talks a lot of endurance and patience. So its important to keep dreaming, keep hoping, keep trusting. What the devil does is steal the seeds of hope and faith, and to replace them with hopelessness and doubt - its his character and mission. Showers are good for us and the people around us, but to shower infrequently (once a year?) is really not of much use, right? So dreaming about God's provision and faithfulness is great, and to nurture the attitude of hopefulness and knowing that God will provide every resource, every need, all grace in our lack - is truly food to the soul.

SCO, the company, has been stirring up quite a ruckus - trying to sue the pants off of everyone, and threatening to make people pay license fees for Linux. Linux, the free operating system, which is pretty much not owned by any particular entity. And SCO is claiming rights for it. Ridiculous. Anyway, you know those Nigerian e-mail scams? Here's an SCO parody that's pretty funny.

Back from hotlanta. As a result of living in a place like Houston, it brings me great delight to do some of the small stuff like ride the subway to the airport, or go for a week without a car. It was a lot of fun. I'm sure it'd get routine and sucky after a while, but it was great for this past week. Hmm. I've got a lot I could write about, but not feelin the flow comin on right now. bbl?

I've been at a trade show in atlanta, georga for the past several days - very limited internet access (I need an 802.11b card - there are wireless hotspots all over the place here), thus the lack of updates. Neat city. Staying in the Westin Peachtree Plaza - its actually a 73 story hotel - probably the tallest I've ever seen. Quite nice. I've been practicing a lot using the new digital camera, learning how to adjust aperture & shutter speeds, the effects of using a flash vs. no flash, etc etc. It's pretty cool stuff, stuff like this is totally trial & error, experienced based learning. One more day and I'll be back in h-town...

The trailer to Mel Gibson's upcoming movie, "The Passion" is out on the web. Its pretty intense.

Houston

Exploring extreme programming, and thinking about how I can it implement the practices in my workplace. I've been following this for a while now, mulling, thinking, considering. I've been subscribed (on and off) to extremeprogramming@yahoogroups.com and also read several websites. I can say that programming as a career carries with it certain areas of frustration that seem to be common across the industry. The cool thing is that XP is aware of these and attempts to address these problem areas (apparently rather successfully). The bad thing is change is difficult, particularly in a corporate environment. And, I'm not really good at making things happen. Well, it'll be a learning experience. I'll periodically throw up links to articles I find informative and interesting regarding XP.

Lots of goodbyes lately, more emotional than normal. A friend from church yesterday, and a co-worker today. Both people have been very pleasant and fun to have known. I guess for the most part I remain pretty emotionally unattached to people, but goodbyes always kinda suck. Well for one thing - these goodbyes have been great tributes to the like-ability of these respective people. The way people respond when you're leaving is a pretty clear indication to what sort of relationship-investment has been made. Especially today, I found in myself being quite reserved as far as sayin goodbye - I mean, what's the point, right? Life goes on. And it does. That's why I personally hate having to say goodbye - when I left austin, I just packed up real quick, walked out to my car, and drove off without looking back. Maybe that's bad ... maybe departures need to be done properly. Sometimes its just easier not going thru that. Next time, when my path takes a different turn - what would that goodbye look like ... ? ... For yesterday's going-away party, we went around and each person took time to make a comment about the person who was leaving and it was amazing to hear the things being said. And one person noted - it'd be nice to express these sentiments to people while they're still around.

Wingman (the commercial video)

(D) This chick's rockin' your bro on the dance floor. (D9) (G) But she's towing an anchor. (D9) (G) A junior investment banker. (Bm) (A) Who's talkin' about herself and not (F# on the2 nd fret with the B and Estring ringingout) much more. Oh (G) (Dsus) (the sung melody is an F#) So buy her a beer, (Dsus) (A) its the reason you're here: (A) (Bm) Mighty Wingman (Bm) (D) (A) You're taking one for the team, (Bm) (A) (G) so your buddy can live the dream: (F#) (G) (D) Wingmaaaaaaaaaaaan

my roommate thanh and my coworker duane have linux vs. windows battles. amazing display of wit as these intellectual giants clash. check out a cute note thanh left for me recently on my desktop:

i have a linux computer and it sucks big time. by big time i mean extremely sucky. everytime i want to do something i have to compile it? wtf? that sucks. compiling code that i didn't even write? so what happens if it doesn't compile correctly? do you have to fix it or correct the source code? my friend, bill said linux is the worst os in the world because it is free. he said that good things in life are never free. i have a laptop that's running windows xp and it rocks when i said it rocks, i meant it kicks major ass! what a great machine. i even bought it a new desk. it loves me so much because it kept telling me that i have new mail. i think that it's more than a machine. if i can make it into a woman, i totally would. it would get turned on when i push a magic button.

lol next up: the greatest dialog ever

Woohoo! Got the Larrivee in yesterday. After playing for several hours, I've decided it sounds pretty fantastic. However, my fingers are bruised and hurting now. :-) woke up this morning feeling a bit apathetic about life. spent some time thinking about the wonderful freedom that God has given to us. felt quite refreshed afterward. hoping to play some tennis today - hurricane, go away!

a few events & updates: 0) daniel's Sanyo SCP8100 should be arriving any day now. awww yeah, time to fill up the phone book wit da digits... 1) ordered the Larrivee D-03, a canadian made guitar. should also come in later this week. yay. gotta upgrade the 6-string skills now. 2) volleyball victory today! our team record is now 3-2. we defeated a really talented team today, so the win was quite rewarding. 3) life has carried with it such a sweet fragrance as of late. there are ups and downs, but mostly, my heart has been mostly full of gratitude and joy, at just at being alive, and in knowing the Lord. can't stop smiling... 4) my strong & desperate desire has been to live a purpose-ful life, to bear fruit. what i think i know about bearing fruit: it doesn't come from a strong will power, or thru sheer determination, but instead thru staying in the love of God, thru continued intimacy with Jesus. thus, the dictate is of life is no longer "do not taste, do not touch," but instead - avoid, run away from the things that seem to hinder God's intimate touch and - run wholeheartedly, continuously, daily, fiercely, toward the things that widen the river of the joy of God into my life...

What the .... Karl Malone Gary Payton Shaquille O'Neal Kobe Bryant .. all playing for the Lakers?? You've got to be kidding me.

whaaaaaaaa! what an awesome weekend! my encouragement to you, if you know Jesus, is to cultivate your relationship with him with all your heart and all your might. "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all else shall be added unto you." Find other people who are passionate about Jesus, and run the race together, enjoying the best that God has to offer in this life. Don't allow weeds in life choke the life of God in you. my encouragement to you, if you don't know Jesus personally, is to find out more about him, from someone who loves him. Pray and ask Jesus to meet with you - he'll undoubtedly answer and life will never be the same again.

Happy 4th of July, everybody! Wooohoooo no work!

Lots of New Life Fellowship people have returned from various short summer mission trips (Uganda, Camp Barnabas, Kosova), and its so awesome and encouraging to hear the stories of what God has done thru them and in them. On that note, I like Julie's latest entry. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (Phil 4:8)

Instead of work today, my coworker, Mohammed, and I had the pleasure of volunteering (for hp) to install a server at a non-profit IT company, Genesys. They hook up with high schools (Reagan) to provide students with the opportunity to work for different companies doing IT work. It's a win-win situation - the contracting companies get cheap labor, the students make money and more importantly, get the experience they need to get a foot in the door. Some of the students now have hope of going to college, and have drastically different outlooks on what they can do with their lives. It's great. The place has only been open for a year, and the guy who started it used to be a Compaq employee. He's had this vision since he worked at Compaq - and it came with a cost too. He had to invest much of his own money to get things started. Now, they're funded by grants and stuff from corporate sponsors and the govt... But he had to take the first step of faith to get things going. Anyway, it wasn't anything big today, but it was a super-refreshing change of pace from the usual. What a great day. For lunch, a group of us 10 volunteers, male & female (the others went to different locations - schools, etc. - to install hardware or software) went to the Cadillac Bar for a late lunch. Haha, as soon as we walk in, we quickly discover its a "gentlemen's buffet" - it turns out there are two separate parts to the restaurant, and we definitely walked into the wrong place. Since there were ten of us all wearing bright blue HP shirts, the entire place turned around and watched as we walked in. Then they watched as we look about in confusion, nobody sure what's going on, and one woman in our group is like, "OK everybody out!!" and we all scurry out. What a funny scene it was. In other news, there's now a national do-not-call list that we can sign up for. Freedom from telemarketers. Now ... what about spam?

Oh my gosh dude, things are getting so intense in there. I'm not so sure that thing is a fly anymore. Its so huge. This big black loud buzzing thing. I think its a killer beatle. At one point in time I thought I killed it. And I saw it just sitting on the ground. So I layed down in my bed. The next thing I know, two minutes later, I hear the BZZZZZZT again and this time he does a fly by - I think he tried to attack me! Man my heart was pounding and the blood is flowing. Dude what the what. Don't make me sleep on the couch!

I frickin have developed a sudden dislike for flying things. This morning, I woke up to several mosquito bites and the sound of the attacker buzzing around my face. If there's one thing that's nearly impossible, it's sleeping around flying attackers. I smothered myself under the blanket hoping he would go away but he didnt so I turned on the light, sat up in my bed, and asked the Lord to destroy this guy. A few minutes later, the vile enemy, fat and drunk off of my blood comes staggering by, and I smoosh him vengefully. Sigh. the senseless bloodshed, the ridiculousness, the folly of it all. Why must we travel down this road? What do we have to show for our bloody and merciless morning battle? Me - a few scars from his bites. Him - his pitiful life lost between my fingertips. Nothing gained at all. Now. Tonite, all I wanna do is go to sleep. And there's a FLY buzzing around. Like for the last hour. So. Loud. And flys are so frickin much harder to get rid of - they have some sort of weird wind-detection radar instinct. Its like the moment you even think about eradicating them - before the message impulses can travel thru the human nervous system - the fly already knows your very next move. It's like playing chess against a guru who knows the outcome of the game after the first 2 pieces have been played. Oh yes, this is a worthy foe. Lucky for him and me, he doesn't bite, otherwise I'd probably have to bust out the heavy artillery - some hair spray and a lighter, or something more drastic and effective. However, because he's less beligerent than the mosquito - there may be a chance for survival for both he and I. Maybe he'll fly out of my door and go bug one of my roommates instead. Hah! Keep them up all night instead of me. Lord, strike down this wretched fly with your hand of justice. Repay him for his evil. Amen.

OH MY GOSH! The weekend is finally here! This has been one rough week. Not that I'm owed an easy life, but man the hits just keep on coming. Anyway, in retrospect, it's kinda been fun walking thru this hardship. I guess there's not one thing in particular that's been crazy - just everything sort of slipped in at once: work has been operating at a really stressful level, no house church to look forward to, spiritual difficulties, a lot of daily goals left unaccomplished (sense of frustration, unworthiness at not accomplishing what i'm supposed to), distractions to the left & to the right. Just a general sense of "life isn't gonna come easy." Bring it! Ahhhhhh. There. A deep breath. Gonna make some time this weekend to rest in the truth of God's love - and next week I'm gonna dive on in with some reckless abandon and tear up my circumstances. RAWR. With difficulty comes the exciting sense of God's goodness and deliverance, his personal love & involvement, and his precise plan for my life. woohoo!!! Haha. Look at the look on that guy's face. (courtesy of The Onion)

2003 Webby Award winners The main winners are selected by the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences, the parenthesis contain the people's voice awards. Activism: ActForChange (Greenpeace) Best Practices: Movable Type (Wired News) Broadband: CBC Radio 3 (x2) Commerce: Amazon.com (x2) Community: Meetup (Geocaching) Education: NASA Earth Observatory (x2) Fashion: SHOWstudio (STYLE.com) Film: indieWIRE (Rotten Tomatoes) Finance: PayPal (x2) Games: Orisinal (Swirve) Gov't & Law: NASA (x2) Health: Planet Parenthood Golden Gate (HIV STOPS WITH ME) Humor: get your war on (The Onion) Living: Do-It-Yourself Network (x2) Music: Flaming Lips (x2) Net Art: Listening Post (Penny Arcade) News: Google News (BBC News Online) Personal Web Site: NobodyHere (Cockeyed) Politics: MoveOn.org (The Note) Print & Zines: AlterNet (The Onion) Radio: Epitonic Radio (CBC Radio 3) Science: exploreMarsnow (HowStuffWorks) Services: eBay (x2) Spirituality: Pluralism Project (Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America) Sports: ESPN.com (x2) Technical Achievement: Apache Web Server (Google) Travel: Lonely Planet Online (x2) TV: Nick.Com (CartoonNetwork.com) Weird: rathergood.com (x2) Youth: 3d&i (Disney's Toontown Online) Rising Star: Snapfish

w.bloggar test, wmp9 plugin thing ...

[Listening to: Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds - The Black Crowes - I Am Sam (03:50)]

[Listening to: Julia - Chocolate Genius - I Am Sam (04:35)]

Hey, here's a test from w.bloggar posting software. It's pretty nifty! Looks like it knows how to integrate w/ blogger, b2, and moveable type. Provides an easy interface to posting and editing templates and such. Oh, by the way, I set up a movable type blog for fun. Long run, I may migrate over to that blog - its quite tempting! But, in the meantime, somnfic.blogspot.com is here to stay. Check out the other blog here: the spot (almost a mirror) The process of importing blogger entries was more or less flawless - so that's really neat. --- Man, work has been really really busy lately.

spiritual disciplines i think, are really crucial to maintaining good spiritual health and drawing closer to God in a walking relationship. Into Abba's Arms has so far, been an awesome book about what it really means to relate to God, and to listen carefully. Sandra talks about bridging the gap between spiritual truths that are understood in the mind, and receiving those into the heart and experiencing them firsthand by faith. Really very valuable and cool stuff. "For physical training is of some value (useful for a little), but godliness (spiritual training) is useful and of value in everything and in every way, for it holds promise for the present life and also for the life which is to come." (1 Tim 4:8)

I remember once when I was younger, my dad and I were playing catch (baseball). And it was all pretty fun. And then the "last throw" he was like, "scoot back, I'm gonna rocket this one" and I was like "ok daddy." And so he really chunks it. And my uncoordinated self just watched this white blur headed towards me, and I can't react fast enough BAM - right in the face. So I always thought that was a sort of funny story, that my dad beaned me in the face with a baseball. But I never realized what it might seem like from his perspective. Can you imagine just tryin to have some fun with your kid, and watching as you release the ball - realizing in that split second - "he's not catching this one" and then proceeding to watch your son go down for the count. Man, that can't be a good feeling. It must be a relief to see that your son is ok, but still maybe feel kinda sheepish for what happened. I dunno, just speculating ...

Father's day was kinda weird. Our family planned on going over to Michael, Grace, & Andy's house for dinner to celebrate and honor our fathers. Turns out my mom was busy working overtime, so my parents never showed up. So Daniel & I had Father's day dinner without our father. The steak we had was nothing short of incredible, however. My uncle said it cost $10/lb for the meat, and it was so tender and delicious - marinated only with a little salt and pepper. Very, very, very good.

wow, cong put up his pictures and its arranged really nicely. Quite entertaining.

Wow blogger looks really different now. I guess this is dano. The colorado weekend pictures are finally up, captioned, sorted, and ready: adventures in colorado. Enjoy!

Hey! It's Friday the 13th!! Yeeehaaaw ... gonna be a fantastic day. I've published the Colorado hiking pics, but there are waaay to many so I'm gonna quickly go thru and delete some of them, caption a few, then I'll put up a linky link here.

Jim Elliot writes: "'Nothing is too good to be: so believe, believe to see.' In my own experience, I have found that the most extravagant dreams of boyhood have not surpassed the great experience of being in the Will of God, and I believe that nothing could be better. That is not to say that I do not want other things, and other ways of living, and other places to see, but in my right mind I know that my hopes and plans for myself could not be any better than He has arranged and fulfilled them. Thus may we all find it, and know the truth of the Word which says, 'He will be our guide even until death.'"

time to head out to the ol' rocky mountains .. don't bother checkin here for the next couple of days, coz it ain't gettin updated. ;P later..

"It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring ..." Has anyone noticed how the banner at the top has targeted ads according to the contents of this page? And they're text banners which are much less annoying than flashing gifs or whatnot. I was thinking about sending moneys into blogspot, but I kinda like having banners around now. GoogleEnjoyment++. Grace, I'm with you on the loyalty to blogger/blogspot thing. 4EVAR. Either that or roll-your-own blog. :) Down with xanga ... :P This morning's intouch broadcast was good. Dr. Stanley lists out ten different stages in a person's obedience to God. Some of those stages listed were principles that the Lord has helped me realize just recently and it was so neat to hear them articulated. Basically, one day I realized - it is always better to obey God, no matter what the consequences look like. Because at that moment of decision - the crossroad (obey, or do my own thing?) - I've been down at that place enough times to realize that obedience will always carry with it a sweet, light fragrance of joy & peace. And just doing my own thing, walking in disobedience will carry with it regret, emptiness, and frustration. If not immediately, down the road, its always turned out this way. And ultimately, obedience to God will be simply out of love for Jesus Christ - because of who he his. Dr. Stanley also emphasizes teaching children from a young age, and I really appreciate his focus on that.

A slow evening tonite ... bought some chicken thighs and tried my hand at cooking. Used olive oil, but it still turned out pretty greasy - almost fried chickeny without the crispy skin. Not bad tasting but not too healthy i think. I had to eat a banana and wash down some orange juice afterward just to sort of balance out the greasy feeling. "How great is your goodness, which is stored up for those who fear you which you bestow in the sight of men, upon those who take refuge in you"

We hosted house church last night at our place - it turned out to be an interesting night! It was great to see everyone. As a host, one's responsibilities include feeding everyone for the evening. Well, as some of you may know, I'm not the most proficient cook just yet. In particular, cooking for more than 4 people is something I consider scary. I ask the Tran family if they'll get involved with me. So, yesterday, Bao leaves work early and buys a load of pork chops for the evening (disaster 1 averted - not being grocer-ily prepared). She and Sun (Zhun?) marinate the meat and then decide to leave to go fishing. In the meanwhile, Cong, who was originally not going to show up, is able to stay, and ends up grilling the meat and cooking some chinese veggies. (disaster 2 averted - I didn't have to cook - this is good for everyone else!) Around 7:30 people begin to arrive, and slowly but steadily our house fills up. It ended up being a lot of people! Probably close to the most I've ever seen at our house church, and definently more than we expected. So Cong and I look at each other nervously thinking the same thing - "we don't have enough food." We asked God to provide enough food for everyone, and lo and behold, it happened to worked out - just enough, down to the last pork chop. Whew! What were we nervous about in the first place?? (disaster 3 averted - everyone is fed!) And we had creme-popsicles and ice cream cake and regular cake for desert. A fun and encouraging night.

There's a lot of sweet stuff available on the web, for the web. I just added a counter to this blog, and it took like 2 minutes, and is super easy to use. Other stuff I'm checkin out (blog related): b2 Movable Type Zope PHP-Nuke In other news ... the web-browser once known as Phoenix has been given a new name: Mozilla Firebird. Have you switched yet? Why not? Grab it now! Experience the beauty of pop-up blocking and tabbed browsing. Mmmm ...

Yesterday, listening to Focus on the Family, I heard a story about a really unique family. Man, I could not stop smiling as I listened to the way this family interacts and the stories behind their lives. Really amazing, and a different picture from the typical modern family. 05/26/03 - The family that prays together

la jument (animated):

Did you know you can't lick your elbow? What a fantastic weekend.

Another wedding this weekend. I guess that's part of life, people gettin married, huh. Congrats to Andy & Stephanie Pan. I don't think either of them would ever see this page, but congrats anyway! ... I've been learning how to play Blackbird (by the Beatles, covered by Sarah McLachlan) on the guitar. It's pretty easy to play and it sounds good! ... A cry for compassion and a call to action Nineteen years ago, a British television crew shot footage that shocked the world. The pictures of starving children, their bellies distended from hunger and their eyes lifeless from malnutrition, alerted the world to the tragic famine then unfolding in Ethiopia. The response was almost immediate. Musician Bob Geldof, previously known for a song about a schoolgirl who shoots her classmates, was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his relief efforts. His "Live Aid" concerts were viewed by a huge worldwide audience. They raised millions of dollars to help eight million people in danger of starvation and signaled a determination that something like this would never happen again. But it has. Only this time, it's not eight million, but twenty million people facing death from disease and starvation. For the past year, word has been coming out of East Africa about a looming humanitarian catastrophe. ... When will people pay attention? But today, between the coverage of the war and such reality shows as "Joe Millionaire" and "The Bachelor," getting the networks -- or any media outlet for that matter -- to focus on the crisis is next to impossible. While America tries to satisfy its insatiable appetite for reality shows, the starving people of Africa are today's reality in the most raw and stark and grim terms.

quote kick ... "If you can't explain what you're doing to a four-year-old, you don't know what you're doing." -Peter Lloyd

... living life on purpose ...

Welp, went to watch The Matrix Reloaded last night. I'll spare any particular commentary until more people have seen it. I will say this: I wasn't disappointed. Today, I went to Panera Bread for lunch. Last time we went there, the demographic was positively absurd. It's completely soccer mom central. Like 80% married 30 year old females with children. The estrogen in that place is absolutely suffocating. This time we went back, lo and behold, the last trip was not a fluke, this is really the market for this restaurant. It's a cross between Einstein Bros. Bagels and Le Madeline, and, at least at the location I visit, hugely successful. My co-worker refers to it by saying, "Let's go eat at Oprah" and as noted above, I call it soccer mom central. For real though, its ridiculous how overwhelmingly unbalanced (or specific) their clientele is. Almost eerie...

Check out the beauty of Banff - click for a full-size image: (Moraine Lake - Banff, Alberta, Canada)

Mother's day was so much fun. I learned how to bake Rosemary chicken and it actually didn't taste bad, so that's pretty encouraging.

Work has been difficult recently (last two weeks) - struggling with lack of motivation. Sometimes, it just ain't all that fun, ya know?? Today, I discover once again, that every day, God will provide enough strength to be faithful for a day at a time. So, by faith, I trust God to provide strength, and I can set my mind on simply putting one foot in front of the other - taking care of business - and God proves himself abundantly faithful to provide. It's not painless, but it's far better than doing it on my own. ... Reading further in the previously mentioned book ... man, I've only read a few more pages and it has a great explanation for "the gift of singleness." A bit different from what I originally understood. Anybody wanna borrow this book when I'm done?? It could help alleviate pressures & fears ...

"In a groundbreaking 1990 article about "twentysomethings", Time magazine reported that this generation of young adults "postpone marriage because they dread divorce." Because the members of Generation X are the sons and daughters of the most-divorced generation in American history, today's young adults are slower to make marriage decisions in hopes of not repeating the mistakes of their parents. They "are not in any rush to get married, hoping that by waiting, time will bring a more compatible mate and the maturity to avoid divorce." Statistics indicate that divorce rates are lower for people who wait to marry. One sociologist concluded, "Divorce rates are lowest for both men and women who marry for the first time at age 28 or later." While statistics suggest that many of today's young adults will eventually marry, the fact that they are currently postponing marriage means that people are staying single longer. There is a fear of marrying to quickly to somebody who is not "right" for them. Related to this is "relationship burnout." Many young adults have had painful experiences with relationships, including sexual abuse, date rape, codependency and other dysfunctional situations. Many singles who desire a close relationship find themselves incapable of trust and commitment. "Fear of commitment not only causes some to bail out of perfectly good relationships but others to avoid dating altogether." The general feeling is, "Better not to get too close to anyone; I don't want to get hurt again."

Yeah, this was part of what I found to be quite accurate, in my life and the lives of some of my buddies & peers ...

Man its HOT outside ... and I kinda like it :) Ate some wonderful leftovers (Rosemary chicken & pasta) at home, then spent the remainder of my lunch reading Singles at the Crossroads, by Albert Hsu. So far, so good. It's about the "issue" of being single, and also what it means in view of God's kingdom. So far, he's correctly identified many trends today, including: a higher-than-ever the percentage of single adults, people marrying at an older age, fear of getting divorced acting as a hindrance to marriage, pre-marital sex & co-habitation devaluing marriage. He touches on (possible) explanations for the trends that seem to be quite good. I'll go back thru and record those here later this evening - they're interesting to think about. There is a treatment of singleness/marriage throughout church history - beginning from Jewish tradition, to the early christian (first century) perspective, to the strange effects of Roman Catholic celibacy doctrine, and the following reaction by the Protestant reformation. All this in only the first few chapters - so the book begins quite broadly in how it covers being single, but its a great read and has made me nod my head or say, "oh i see" several times already ...

I'm really glad I don't have finals right now. ;P My sincerest sympathies to those who do.

Imagine a line from <--- that end of the room to ---> that end of the room. And somewhere along that line is: . ^ that dot .. representing our time on earth, in view of eternity. God asks us to walk with him, perhaps with "light affliction" for a short sliver of time, trusting in his promises, in view of eternity - tasting the sweetness of forever. And even then, the light affliction has an amazing return on investment good for this lifetime ... reading Piper's Desiring God talks of the one common theme for most missionaries - in the end, they cannot at all consider it a sacrifice for God, because the rewards of joy and fullness faaaar outway any cost. That's really good investing.

"... David served God's purpose in his own generation." When it all comes down to it, that's one of my primary goals in life - to serve God's purpose in this generation. Lord, may you commend me in the same way at the end of my lifetime.

half.com is a fantastically economical way of buying books (used). Even with shipping costs on each book, its still more sensible than buying from B&N or amazon. Today, May 1, is the national day of prayer. A good day to seek God's guidance and mercy...

Jim Cymbala on calling on the Lord

I thought this picture was kinda funny ...

the matrix: reconsidered

luau, post-mortem: well, the pig in the ground cooking style turned out to be a disappointment - after 8 hours, it turns out our initial temperature was either not hot enough, or we lost too much heat during the process. The pig was not cooked. So we quickly turned to plan b - chop the sucker up and stick her on the grill and in the oven. .... I couldn't help but to feel quite disappointed after all the work and hope put into this thing. But that feeling of disappointment quickly disappeared. I mean, its just a pig, right? Hehe.

Well up at the donuthouse, we've been laying out a front and back patio for the duration of this week. Arg arg, real men don't need instructions! Pictures will hopefully be up soon. We also spontaneously came up with a plan to roast an entire pig, luau style, in time for this weekend. To be honest, I had some serious doubts as to whether we could pull it off or not, but amazingly enough, just trying to do it is really encouraging in the way that most things can be accomplished, but most things aren't accomplished because people aren't willing to try. Hmm. Unfortunately it looks like it may rain today and we have a 7 foot long by 3 foot wide by 1.5 foot deep HOLE (soon to be pool) in our backyard. What's going on this weekend? Yes ... a bachelor party for Cong. I've been thinking for a while now whether or not I'd be a participant in this whole thing, because, as a typical bachelor party, there will probably be some typical bachelor party goings-ons occuring. Since the scope of the event has widen up considerably (cooking the pig, showing off our new patios, open for female friends ...), I'd participate in those particular events, and then when bad things are happening, I'll run to New Life Fellowship and say hi to the people at the coffee shop event. I heard a sermon this morning, How can I sustain a vibrant faith? and it was really cool and encouraging ... I'm feelin encouraged and ready to continue fighting the good fight ...

there's a program called "Jocks to GIs Direct" in which professional athletes correspond with U.S. troops. It's pretty neat: Jocks to G.I.s Direct Tiki Barber learned C++ in college and has a half vietnamese half korean wife.

Back in the mix here at work ... Pictures from Las Vegas are up: http://donuthouse.homeip.net/gallery/albums.php

Had training the entire week at work - "How to write Linux device drivers" so that was kinda fun. Refreshing to just kick back and take a course. Not that I plan on actually writing any device drivers ... What a great week: Wed - visited John at the Fish, ate some fantastic food. The cod is really good there. Thurs - went to Portico, met some new people, really got ministered to Fri - took a massive afternoon nap, went to a NLF house church, had a wonderful time!

all template changes are strictly incidental. the blogger service seems to be acting quite funny today and i think i destroyed my old template in an attempt to set things straight. *shrug* oh well, i'll get it straightened out soon.

It seems that skepticism has been en vogue (for the last decade?). It's the cool & rational thing to doubt and tread carefully in all things. I suppose that's understandable - suspicion doesn't just happen - its usually a reaction to observing flakey inconsistent behavior or just plain getting jacked. Give to the poor? Its easy not to when you know you've been scammed in the past. anyway, I just wanted to play What If? throw any of the scenarios around and run the risk of being labeled chicken little, along with other nutsos, but oh well. what if ... we're less than two years away from the third world war? what if ... china, russia, n. korea join in on the fray? what if ... the economy doesn't recover for the next twenty years, but continually gets worse? what of after-college plans, and dreams to get married, raise a family, retire in a nice house remain only distant dreams, a relic of times past? what if ... the Lord Jesus, he returns in this lifetime? what of friends & people who didn't know of the free gift of life? anyway. these are things i discussed with my roommate yesterday and i've just been pondering. really, in the blink of an eye, all of these can be here, or not. i guess this is what it means to have our lamps trimmed and burning, full of oil. more than anything, it gives a perspective by which to weigh my priorities, my time, my heart's affections & desires.

I put up a new webpage - it's really not much to look at. Anyway, I'll update it very shortly with new pics (whenever I get a chance). Here it is: http://donuthouse.homeip.net

Spend the weekend at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. My cousin Ping had a relatively small wedding of maybe 60-70 people - mostly family. Seeing uncles, aunts & cousins year after year - watching people grow up, grow older, grandparents passing away, kids getting married, kids having kids ... this weekend was a meaningful one for our family. A festive and light-hearted affair - done with a distinctive Chu family style and flair - oh it can't be duplicated, and I think it may give the Portokalos family a run for the money ... but yeah, very nice. I'll hafta let Heather & Ian & Derrick read this page sometime. Hehe, that'd be weird. Oh, we took some goofy pics, so I'll post them later. Finished the Everest story. Its a gripping non-fiction story - the author writes well. I found some quotable (?), thought-provoking passages that I'd like to post ...

"In the midst of all the postmortem ratiocination, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that climbing mountains will never be a safe, predictable, rule-bound enterprise. This is an activity that idealizes risk-taking; the sport's most celebrated figures have always been those who stick their necks out the farthest and manage to get away with it. Climbers, as a species, are simply not distinguished by an excess of prudence. And that holds especially true for Everest climbers: when presented with a chance to reach the planet's highest summit, history shows, people are surprisingly quick to abandon good judgment. ...

(several pages later ... )

Nevertheless, it had taken Herrod seventeen hours to climb from the South Col to the summit. Although there was little wind, clonds now enveloped the upper mountain, and darkness was fast approaching. Completely alone on the root of the world, extremely fatigued, he must have been out of [bottled] oxygen, or nearly out. "That he was up there that late, with nobody else around, was crazy," says his former teammate, Andy de Klerk. "It's absolutely boggling." Herrod had been up on the South Col from the evening of May 9 through May 12. He'd felt the ferocity of that storm, heard the desperate radio calls for help, seen Beck Weathers crippled with horrible frostbite. Early on during his ascent of May 25, Herrod climbed right past the corpse of Scott Fischer, and several hours later at the South Summit he would have had to step over Rob Hall's lifeless legs. Apparently, the bodies made little impression on Herrod, however, for despite his lagging pace and the lateness of the hour he pressed onward to the top. There was no further radio transmission from Herrod after his 5:15 call from the summit. "We sat waiting for him at Camp Four with the radio on," O'Dowd explained in an interview published in the Johannesburg Mail & Guardian. "We were terribly tired and eventually fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning at about 5:00 a.m. and he hadn't radioed, I realised we had lost him." Bruce Herrod is now presumed dead, the twelfth casualty of the season.

For myself ... these passages carried the biggest thrust in the book. I've never climbed a mountain, but the adventurous, conquering spirit by which these people are motivated - I think this is a common streak of the hero in the veins of humanity - echoed in stories such as David's mighty men, Homer's Odyssey, the knights of lore, movies of this century, as well as in true adventures - countless explorers who foray into the unknown, seeking the edge of the world or to see what's on the other side of this great expanse. A common thirst for adventure and triumph for dreaming boys and men alike. Hehe, and this is pretty funny to me- but the antithesis of this- is mom calling in the boy for dinner from an afternoon of make-believe conquest - put the dream on hold Joey, its dinner time. The voice of caution and safety (the female voice?) that says, "don't do it! it's too risky!" And at some point in life - there's a time to silence the voice, and just go for it - balls out living, as my friends call it. Because if that never happens, maybe a boy has effectively been castrated by fear and caution - fear of pain, fear of the unknown. He'll never know anything about himself - what he's capable of, what his limits are. ... but at what point does that become just ludicrousness? At what point does it become sheer folly and stupidity? At what point does it cross from bravery and courage into madness and irrationality? And perhaps that's why Everest is an intriguing proposition. It's there, and it offers to expose that fine line in a person's choices and character. When maybe true determination and resolve is reflected not in the cojones to push forth no matter what the cost, but in the painfully prudent decision to turn around a mere 300 ft. from the top of the earth - tens of thousands of dollars sunk, years of training, weeks of acclimitization, countless nights of dreaming, the sheer physical toll of spending days at 26,000+ ft., what a PRICE! - and THE goal, THE conquest is a mere stone's throw away ... and to turn around? Maybe the real heroism doesn't always involve getting the glory - but unless one gets placed in that situation in the first place, there'll never be a chance to find out. Hmm. Michael Jordan says "I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying." Maybe just as much as there's a lesson to be learned about taking risks, there's an equally valuable lesson to be learned about failing. But we never get a chance to learn the second lesson unless we learn the first lesson, first.

1) Alumni weekend came and went again this past weekend. Man its always really nice to see old friends. The actives did a great job in preparing the weekend's festivities. 2) Current reading: Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mount Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist by John Piper 3) I heard a sermon by Charles Stanley this morning about Samson and slipping into sexual immorality. Man what a powerful and merciful warning for me. Its good to hear an uncompromised word - God shedding his light into the heart.

My roommate's computer's Internet Explorer says "Lemon Pig Explorer." So the top of this window says "edit your blog: - Lemon Pig Explorer". Isn't that weird? I accidently took a really long nap after work today and so now its 2:05am, the latest I've been up in ages and I don't know what to do.

(random thoughts) 1) I find that there's something amazingly theraputic about playing basketball. I suppose this extends to most physical activities in general. After playing basketball tonite until my legs started cramping, I feel nice. A handful of kids from inner-city Dallas are on a tour of America, I beleive this is part of Sebastian Huyhn's ministry to reach out to kids. So we ate pizza together and hooped, and I think they're gonna be on their way up to California. 2) Went with cousins Michael, Andy and brother Daniel to an internet cafe to play some Warcraft 3 for a couple of hours. We got beat by the computer twice and won once. That game is pretty hard. 3) I find that having a definite set of goals in life helps tremendously. It gives a purpose to daily life - and man that's so good to have. 4) Spending time in the Bible, I'm rediscovering the beauty of some of God's truths. - If God has justified me, who can condemn me? - God will never leave me nor forsake me. - God will use all things for my good. - The weapons of our warfare are powerful and effective for tearing down strongholds of evil in our lives. - If God didn't spare his only son for me, how much more then is he willing to give to his own? - The joy of the Lord is my strength. 5) Spending time around friends is really nice. 6) Being around other Christians can be so refreshing - like water to the soul. God really provides the right people at the right time. 7) Although I often forget to do so, today on the way to work, I prayed for help for a critical problem that had been assigned to me. I made no headway the day before. After praying, the problem was resolved within an hour of being at work this morning - the answer practically revealed itself. So thank you God for your faithfulness and for reminding me. 8) I'm a bit scared of tearing my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament - in the knee connecting the fibia and tibula I think). So I've been doing some quad and ham strengthening exercises. 9) Cong is getting married soon! 10) Cousin Ping is getting married soon too!

Pictures from the vacation are available! It was great!

Here's an interesting piece of writing from a girl.

Our ski trip is coming up this Wednesday. The excitement is really building. It's like there's an 'lectricity in the air. Giggly school-girlish laughter, excitement, and anticipation! Bladder control problems! I ended up buying ski boots for $220 from sun n' ski (Nordica F8). Then, I stopped by Oshman's this weekend and found the same ones for $150. w00t, end of season sales r0x. So I saved seventy bones on the boots. But really though, I think that I don't really care how much I spend on things, which I think is a weird thing. It's probably a product of my environment - not knowing what its like to really be in need. For the most part, when I start considering price, its mostly because my parents do it, or I see my roommates getting excited about how they got this-or-that for a super-low price. Ehh, anyway ... had my annual night out this Saturday. Uneventful, but nice to see everyone. Man, time just keeps on rollin. The entire group is officially crossing the mid-twenties and the thirties look to be oh-so-close. Pretty interesting ... Also went to one of New Life's house churches this Friday. It was a lot of fun. Oh, and weddings, seem to be a lot of stress and trouble. Just an observation. Cong is gonna be doing some groundbreaking work for us - finding out what the mistakes are and good advice, etc etc. Hehe.

Last weekend turned out to be phenomenal. I really enjoyed the time spent with family, and I feel a renewed vigor in my approach to life. Part of it has to do with the message at church on Sunday. I didn't expect it, but it turns out to be what I needed to hear. So, I've felt pretty aimless over the course of the last few months - wondering about what kind of purpose I have for living, what is there to do with every day. I've had trouble reconciling what is truly meaningful in life, and how to get to a point where what I do with my time - small things or big things - fit in. In the movie, I am Sam, there's several parts where Sam arranges mugs and sugar packets and cheese shakers at Starbucks and Pizza Hut. And he's really meticulous and caring about what he does, even though in the whole scope of things its such a little little thing, it doesn't matter to him - he carries out his tasks with such diligence and so full of meaning. And I realized, for me - school never mattered, work doesn't matter too much, because I just don't really care too much. I mean, if I fail a test or a class, oh well - not a big deal. If I get fired or something - that's ok, my identity and security doesn't come from my work. But along the way, I lose any sort of meaning for doing anything at all. And I kinda think that's what Solomon was getting at in Ecclesiastes - he laments the meaningless of everything in life - then he settles on the conclusion that it's the gift of God for a man to work hard, enjoy the fruit of his labor, eat, and enjoy life. And in all things - to fear and love God is most important. So I'm finding a lot of meaning now in the daily tasks. I got to sit down and truly consider my priorities in life - and recorded a list of goals - short term goals, one-year out goals, and lifelong goals. Things to shoot for, things to live for. And along the way, always keeping in primary focus the kingdom law - to love God and to love people. Several books I'm reading at the moment are Rich Dad, Poor Dad and a very obscure book by Wang Ming Dao (here's a story about him), originally written in Chinese and later translated to English. It's a great great book - very encouraging. I love seeing how God has worked in his church in China. ttyl

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. We're gonna eat out tonite at Fung's Kitchen. Tomorrow morning, (surprise!) we're gonna leave some gifts on the kitchen counter with a birthday card, early in the morning. Yay! May God continue to bless him with a youthful energy and fresh outlook on life.

Saturday ... relaxing, slow, lazy saturday ... I wonder what's gonna happen today.

Alright. Time for a more personal update. Lately, I've been preparing for an early March ski trip - destination Whistler, B.C. This time around, a lot of us (college friends) are buying our own ski/snowboard gear. I guess we enjoy it enough and go frequently enough to warrant buying our own stuff. If anything, I think it makes me feel more "into" the activity of skiing. So in the course of this preparation, its been exciting. Lots of expenses - the trip itself will cost approximately $500-600. The equipment can cost up to another $300-400. That's nearly a thousand bucks this month on leisure. Hmm. It's certainly given me a reason to evaluate how I spend my money, and also ponder what the Lord says about this. I think about how the free-est people on the planet should be those who've tasted the tender, fragrant love of God. I think about what Jesus says, "Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys." I think about how the children of Israel left Egypt with gold and silver and were blessed abundantly materially. My mom tells me repeatedly to develop the habit of saving money on a monthly basis. So far, in the past two years of working, I've not really put away too much in the piggy bank - not really living extravagantly - but just enjoying life and using the finances as things come up. What if I don't save up for retirement? Will I be ok? Will I slip into a life of poverty? Or maybe just less comfortable than my current status? I think ... my hope in God says, "that can't happen when your abba father watches your every step." Then again, perhaps its stepping out of the zone of American comfort that I need. I know materially rich can go hand in hand with spiritually impoverished. Anyway, all this mulling over money and stewardship gets really tiring. I can't wait to get to heaven where the streets are paved with gold (ha! take that wall street), and the Lord has prepared a mansion for those who love him. But for today ... actually, tomorrow, I'm swaying between buying $100 ski boots (entry level) or $200 ski boots (medium performance). What should I do? I know that long term - who cares if I spent $100 or $200. But it matters because habits are formed by a series of individual actions and decisions. How I respond today can set a pattern about how I live tomorrow. So ... fullness of life ... man, this guy, Scott Crenshaw, a speaker at Lakewood, speaks about the sweetness of obedience. He talks about the highway of life - how temptations and compromise come and offer us an off-ramp from God's plan. "Take this shortcut - its easier and you'll get their faster. If you wait for God, it'll never happen! He doesn't care about you ..." And he talks about how when we make the decision to stay on God's road and pass the exit - the pure sweeeeeetness of that obedience. Man, it's so true. It's weird, but to do things God's way, with a clear conscience washed in the blood of Jesus - it's really food to the soul. And so lately, I've been struggling to find signifigance in this life - "what am I really created to do? am i wasting my time?" and fretting about somehow not being close enough to God - sort of in the midst of all that, God just creeps up sweetly and silently and says, "peace, be still ... just relax, I'm in control, and you're not a failure because I've got you!" God is a wellspring of encouragement and life and hope.

Join my army! http://www.kingsofchaos.com/page.php?id=168401

Just watched the beginning of a TV series on Outdoor Life Network. 50 participants are competing for 5 spots to climb Mt. Everest. The screening process takes places at various places thruout the world: Moab, Utah; Costa Rica; Aspen, Colorado; Iceland; etc. The athletes themselves are male and female amateur (not pro) outdoors enthusiats - and each has some sort of solid background in their own regards - some are seasoned ironman triatheletes, one is a marine, one is a serious inline skater, some are hikers and climbers - all love the outdoors, and all are willing to challenge their own limits and test their skills.

The challenges are legion - swimming across ice cold rivers, climbing boulders and cliffs, biking long distances in mud and snow, alpine running, high altitude environment. Some nice photos from the first two episodes.

Wow. Incredible! On that note of challenging the limits, several times in the past I've contemplated running a marathon. I think this year, I really wanna try something I can handle. So I think I'm gonna try a half-marathon. For me, the challenging part isn't the marathon itself, its maintaining the daily focus and dedication in practice and training leading up to the event itself. And also, its got me thinking - there are many things I'd like to try out within the next few years ... God willing ... 1) get some climbing experience (casual weekend excursions at Enchanted Rock) 2) mountain biking or off-train biking 3) ice climbing (Colorado or Alaska?)

Seeing how quickly e-mails and rumors make the rounds with the w0rld wide web, I'm sure most people have read about Shaq's alledged comments about Yao Ming. Well, this is from www.slamonline.com, a different, perhaps more level-headed perspective.

SHAQ ATTACK: THE BIG RACIST? I started getting flooded with emails yesterday afternoon with a link to this column by Irwin Tang in AsianWeek about Shaquille O'Neal. According to this article, Shaq recently told a reporter, "Tell Yao Ming, 'Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.'" The article says: "No, the superstar center of the L.A. Lakers was not trying to speak Chinese. Shaq was, in a most derisive tone, aiming a racist barb at the rookie center for the Houston Rockets." The article also points out that while on the Worst Damn Sports Show Period, Shaquille "spoke with a mock Chinese accent and made mock 'kung fu' moves,' and that "in June, Shaq announced that he would test Yao's toughness by taking an elbow to Yao's face. This comment, combined with Shaq's racist taunts are particularly disturbing, as Asian Pacific Americans often suffer racial taunts while being assaulted or physically intimidated." While I understand Mr. Tang's anger toward Shaq, I don't think Shaq is racist and I don't think his comments were racist. If anything, I think he was being Culturalist, discriminating against a culture by attempting to poke fun at perceived behaviors. The problem here is that Shaq was trying to be entertaining and funny, something he's usually very good at, and something he failed to be here, instead showing himself as ignorant and ill-mannered, and perpetuating stereotypes that don't deserve recounting. That doesn't mean that it's OK to say the things he said, but having spent time with Shaq and around Shaq, I've never heard him say anything even remotely racist. Which, of course, doesn't settle anything. But maybe this bit of info will help: According to my sources, when the Rockets visited Los Angeles on November 17, Shaq sat out the game with his bum toe. But after the game, after the Houston locker room had cleared out, Shaq came in and took the time to introduce himself to Yao Ming. He talked briefly with Yao through his translator, told Yao that he'd been joking and was honestly looking forward to playing against him, and that he wished Yao the best. And Yao thanked Shaq and said he's looking forward to playing against him, as well. If Shaq was actually a racist person, I don't think he would have taken the time to approach Yao, to sublimate himself, to tell him he enjoyed watching him play. As for the other publications that Mr. Tang says he tried and failed to get to address this issue, I can't speak for them. Mr. Tang says: "Let's not beat around the bush. If a white player had, for instance, made monkey sounds to taunt a black player, it would have been a national controversy. But Yao is Chinese and Asians are fair game. For evidence, watch TV for a couple of hours." I watch TV a lot and don't know what shows Mr. Tang is watching, but I'm sure the profiling he is talking about does exist. But his white player/black player thing is dead wrong. The situation he mentions indeed deserves to be a national controversy, because the white player would be comparing the black player to an animal. Shaq made fun of a language; he did not compare Yao Ming to any animal. He didn't even go like Reggie White a few years ago, who said that Japanese and other Asians "can turn a television into a watch." But I don't think Shaq deserves to be branded a racist. Compounding things, Mr. Tang makes the unfortunate comparison of Yao Ming and Jackie Robinson. When Jackie Robinson was shattering baseball's color barrier, he was being spit on and black people were being beaten in the streets. In the south, black people had separate bathrooms and special seats on public buses. Besides, it's not as if NBA owners have been conspiring to keep Asians out of the NBA. If a 7-5 guy with a sweet jumper came along, they'd sign him up, even if his skin was green and covered with blue polka dots. While I can't deny that some Asian-Americans are still being discriminated against in the U.S.A. these days, it's a ways away from the Civil Rights era. So think twice before you go branding Shaq a racist. Though for all I know, Shaq could be innately racist against Asian-Americans, I honestly don't think he is. He tried to make a joke, one that turned out to be insensitive and cruel. And he should learn from the mistake and become a better person from it and not do it again. Whether Yao Ming knows it or not, he is not only going to be a great basketball player and an advertising godsend, but he's also going to be the most visible ambassador ever for a culture that has been mostly hidden from the mainstream United States for decades. And after spending time with Yao over the last few weeks, I think he's the perfect person for that gig. Heck, he's beating the pants off of Shaq in the All-Star voting. So that's my two cents. Moving on...

I guess after being UT asian greek, I'm sort of tired of the whole indignant angry asian thing. Frickin ridiculous. I'm not saying "oh its ok Shaq, say what you want ... " Oh wait, actually I am. People claim to be sick of the whole "political correctness" language, yet when someone violates that, oh, here we go. Political correctness doesn't buy mutual respect for others, it only puts on a terribly fake facade over the misunderstandings that still exist. Spending the majority of my time around asians, we spew the same spew about other people/cultures/races just like they do about everybody else. What makes me sick, is that now, there's gonna be a whole community of 15-25 year old asian americans up-in-arms about some stupid comments that some basketball player made tryin to be funny and cool, comments of the same nature that I hear take place in everyday conversations in circles around me. Stop the madness yall!

Courtesy of ars technica,

The RIAA owes me $20 ... ...and they owe you, too, if you purchased an audio recording from a retailer between January 1 1995 and December 22, 2000. As part of a settlement in a class action suit against the recording industry for price fixing, they agreed to a large payout that affects everyone who falls into the camp I just described. So how do you claim your money? Easy. Just hit this website, fill out the form, and wait for the check. I just finished filling it out, myself, and it's pretty painless. The form itself raised a few red flags in that it asked for some personal information, so before hitting "Submit" I checked out the discussion thread attached to the post at boingboing.net, where I saw the link, to see if anyone had done any detective work. As it turns out, the boingboing crowd did a decent amount of calling around and checking, so read the thread if you're having doubts. Also, if you're concerned about security there's a 1-800 number at the site that you can call, as well as a snail-mail option. I don't know what I'm going to do with my $20, but I can almost guarantee that it won't go back to the RIAA. Posted 1/8/2003 - 10:47PM, by Hannibal

Own a nintendo gamecube? Read this toastyfrog article about animal crossing Don't own a gamecube? Who cares, read it anyway, if you're a gamer or know anything about Animal Crossing. This is insightful, beautiful, and alarming editorial journalism. Tongue in cheek? Maybe only partly. AC gets a 5 frog evil rating. (btw, if you have a short attention span, skip the stream-of-consciousness part about the texan and the kingdom hearts review.)

I don't particularly keep up with world affairs, but I found this article to be interesting: http://www.msnbc.com/news/855108.asp?cp1=1

Before it gets too late, I wanted to put in my bet for this year's NBA champ ... Dallas Mavericks over Indiana Pacers in game 6. You heard it here first folks.

Happy new year to all. May this year be the year of favor and blessing for you and me. "A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?"

OK, i feel its sort of my task to keep people updated on the wonderful world of Available Software out there. So I'm gonna toss out some products that I use on a daily basis, and that I'm recommending very strongly. Four must-have products .... Phoenix Web Browser - (based upon Mozilla/GEcko) OK, so Windows comes with Internet Explorer built in. But guess what? There's another browser out there that's very lightweight, very fast, very standards-compliant, very stable, and feature rich. For those who like to try out new things, or simply enjoy having a choice of what software they use, I give a 5-star recommendation to Phoenix. Why? I've been browsing with this software for months, and I've found it to be faster than IE, more stable than IE, and less memory intensive. And tabbed browsing takes the entire web browsing thing to a whole 'nother level. ***** (that's five stars, count 'em). This is available on both Linux and Windows. GAIM - (substitute for AIM) benefits? Well, as of right now, I'm signed on to AIM, ICQ, MSN, and Yahoo messengers thru one client- gaim. The interface is wonderfully familiar and clean. There's also a built in spell checker, and tabbed chat windows as well - a great way to save valuable real estate on the monitor. No advertisements, and transparency is a feature. This is available on both Linux and Windows. 4 stars (it's still a young product, under development) Ad-aware - This program hunts down spyware that has installed itself secretly on our computers and eradicates these terrible things. Often, the reason why computers get really slow is because unknowingly, users will allow invasive programs to make themselves at home on their computers. That's bad. This will get rid of those buggers. This is for Windows. and finally ... AVG - Need a free, high quality, frequently updated anti-virus software? If you're not running an anti-virus scanner/shield, it's probably a good idea to do so. This is for Windows. side note - Oh, as a side note, these products (Phoenix and GAIM in particular) are developed by people who use and love computers. They write these programs not for profit, but simply for the sake of creating and using a great product -- and to offer a choice to what is otherwise a (figurative) one-man show out there. In the past, Microsoft has had a tendency to supposedly "adhere" to standards, then once they grab market share, conveniently ignore and break standards. Why do they do this? Well, they first latch onto a given standard - whether w3c html recommendations, c++ standards, or whatever. Then, after they've gained some ground, and they provide for their users an upgrade from version 3.0 to 4.0, and people begin to unknowingly develop their webpages or what-not around the newer almost standards-compliant-but-not-quite Microsoft specs, compatibility is broken between Microsoft and everyone else. This is bad. They've tried to do this with C++, Java, HTML, with just about everything they put their hands to. Hey, Microsoft is a company that's out to make the cream (cash rules everything around me dollah dollah bill yall), and I do applaud Bill Gates for his shrewd tactics - what an astounding and ruthless business man. Not only that, they are very good at what they do - the products they've released are an awesome benchmark for what good software is supposed to look and feel like - not perfect, but very very easy and comfortable to use. Nevertheless, there must be a leveraging force from somewhere else, and being able to support the Everyman is just A Noble Thing (TM). Just like in the realm of politics, where one by one, one person's vote can make the difference, the best way for a computer user to let their influence be felt is by supporting the best product available. I don't necessarily subscribe to "don't use Microsoft/AOL simply because its Microsoft or AOL." These products (Phoenix & GAIM) really are well written and great to use. Plus, from a software development standpoint, its just nice to support the open-source movement.