Tuesday, April 09, 2002

Oh gosh, I really love stories. So, I'm gonna share two that I read at the Ars Technica forums. These are by a guy named Jesus (haysoos, from Argentina). A True Story Of Cowardice: Me and my 3 best friends. We were 12-13 years old, all of us. Sometimes, when his schedule permitted it, my dad used to take us all on saturdays to go do something fun, somewhere. Maybe one day it was to the movies, another to the arcade, etc... That saturday, however, we went to a park to just hang around, do the stuff that we did and play the games that we played. There was *nobody* around. Just us 4. We were just walking around, when after a turn on the path we were walking, like 50 feet away from us we see 3 guys walking towards us. Older than us, but not much. Probably 15-16. We keep walking. They keep walking. Turns out that they were not walking towards us, they were walking to us, and we didn't realize that until they were on our faces (we were caught in our conversation or something). We we forming a line, they were forming a line. Once they got close enough, they proceed with the classical "grab by the lapels", and they "asked" for our jackets and pretty much whatever of value we had on ourselves. However, they were 3 and we were 4. Which means, there was one of that wasn't covered nor grabbed. That'd be me. When the two lines met, I was completely clear. My first instinct was to turn around and run like hell... and I never had a second instinct. I turned around and ran. I pretty much ran till the other end of the park (probably a distance of 3-4 city blocks). And I left my friends there. Without having any other thought than saving my ass, I just left them there and ran. When I stopped running, and after catching my breath, I started walking back trying to find them. Eventually I did. They were completely unharmed... the other guys just took their jackets and that was it. No fights, no nothing. My friends all understood what I did, and they told me that If they were in my place, probably they would've ran away like I did. But, to this day, I still keep kicking myself in the ass (figuratively) for not staying with them. cowardly, trying to save my own neck, I left them there. And to this day, I can't forgive myself. Maybe it's stupid. You could say that I was still very young and my reaction was understandable. And I agree somewhat. I understand my reaction, but I don't approve it. That day, I was a coward. Even for 2 or 3 minutes, but I was. That taught me a lesson allright... never, ever, leave your friends hanging again. And in the future, I'm proud to say that I never did. No matter what. A Fun True Story: Same group of friends (needless to say, you realize at this point that we did everything together). I can't remember if we were younger or older than in the previous story, but what I can remember is that all four of us were crazy, deranged, ultimate fanboys of Robotech (the anime, for the uninitiated). We "role played" Robotech at school, at home, when we met... it was our game and our source of fun. So when in one of these "boys' afternoons out" that my dad used to organize, of course, we were roleplaying Robotech too. We ended up that day going to eat pizza at one of those crummy, run down places that my dad used to know... that happened to serve one of the cheapest, best pizzas in town (those places that fathers know of... ). It was a pretty crummy place... so crummy, that the restrooms didn't have toilet bowls. The men's room in that place was a couple of urinals and the divided compartments, for when you had to go do #2. But, without toilet bowls. It was just the compartments... and a hole in the floor. So, we were role playing Robotech, and apparently the RDF High Command decided to charge our squad with a mission of utmost importance for the future of humanity: To assault and retake the men's room, that was overtaken by Zentraedi forces. Our squad, never to be seen fleeing in the face of danger, accepted gladly. The men's room was in a kinda secluded part of the pizza place, away from the activity of waiters and tables, so that gave us enough room to 'perform'. And 'perform' we did... The squad leader (my friend Cristian) kicked the men's room door, with his 'weapon' ready in his hand. Then we followed him promptly. The men's room was as silent as a derelict space ship. Not a sound could be heard (but many aromas could be smelled). Upon arrival, we discovered that all the doors to the compartments were closed. Obviously, the Zentraedi treachery knew no bounds. So we decided to 'liberate' the prisoners trapped inside the deadly Zentraedi 'compartments'. I was #2, so it was my turn to act. Not to be overshadowed by my squad leader, I faced the compartment door and kicked it open..... *BLAMMM*... it was empty. Our #3, Gonzalo, imitated the procedure to perfection (we were a very tight squad after all).... kicking the door... *BLAMMM*. And it was empty too. Finally, our friend Mats (a talented Veritech pilot, but sort of a hothead), had his turn to show his prowess. And he did. With sheer determination in his face, he turned to the door and yelled to the top of his lungs "FOR EARTH!!!!!". And then he kicked it open... *BLAMMM* *THUDD* *SPLOSH*... Why so many noises? I explain... The compartment wasn't empty. Apparently one of the 'prisoners' was in there, relieving himself. When suddenly, the door was kicked (*BLAMMM*), hitting him in the back (*THUDD*) and destabilizing him enough so he had to put a foot forward to avoid falling down (*SPLOSH*... and I leave to your imagination to come up with the picture that results from the equation 'hole on the floor' + 'foot' + '*SPLOSH*'... ) Needless to say, we evacuated promptly the Zentraedi trap and returned to our Base/Table. A couple of minutes later, the prisoner emerged from the men's room, looking none too pleased, and with a gigantic wet stain on his pants that went from the shoe of his right leg, up until the middle of his thigh. And smelling like shit. Literally. After that, we decided to 'tone down' our assaults. I can almost see the poor guy in my head, peeing there... minding his own business when suddenly, from the inside of his compartment, he hears a loud kick in the door... the sound of a lot of steps... then a louder kick in a compartment door... , then the sound of a much closer kick... then somebody yelling VERY LOUDLY "FOR EARTH!!!!", followed by the final, fateful kick. If that doesn't break a man, nothing will.(*) Peace... (*): Well, maybe getting hit on your back in mid-urination by a swinging door that's been kicked open and lodging your leg into a hole full of urine and feces will break ya too...