Have the song "Drowning in your eyes" by Ephraim Lewis stuck in my head all morning.

Feel the ground it's slipping away Like a sigh that greets the close of day Feel the waters' welcoming arms Embrace me in the quiet calm I can't hear what you say anymore Just the sound of trees on the ocean floor Irresistably drawn from the shore I'm drowning in your eyes I'm floating out to sea Helpless on the restless tide That flows between you and me Moving slowly as if in a dream The colours change from blue to green All around me reflections of you In forests deep I'm passing through In the swell of the storm we're as one We're dancing in the morning sun Could it be that we've only just begun

The weekend is here! Rejoice when you face trials of many kinds! There is a specific purpose behind it all. Run the race with endurance, as so many others are going thru at this very moment.

This morning, taking a shower, I thought about the different attributes of the people of God. Each guy had sort of a different style, or uniqueness about them, in reflecting what being "a man of God" really is. None of these were the "ultimate right answer" but each are dear to the heart of God and served his purposes faithfully. Solomon - asked for and received wisdom David - had a pure heart for God Paul - perservered, unwaveringly Moses - was exceedingly humble Elijah - displayed the power of God Abraham - walked by faith, not by sight Daniel - was intimate with God through prayer Ezekiel - knew the sorrow of God for his people Isaiah - saw the coming salvation Jacob - simply shows God's sovereignty in election Joseph - displayed a life of having favor with God Samuel - listened to God from his youth to his old age John the disciple - was loved by Jesus John the baptist - a fearless speaker of truth

Interesting videos made by Korean Americans from UCLA.

There are 6 Matrix Revolutions trailers to be found here.

This year the JOY award (Jerk of the Year) has two awardees. Can we give it up for ... SCO (Santa Cruz Operations), and the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America)! Congrats! First up: SCO SCO's pathetic attempt to claim ownership to Linux is just jaw-droppingly lame. 1) Before they began spouting these ridiculous claims, guess what? SCO's top officers have been doing nothing but selling off their stocks. Umm, c'mon how obvious can this be. Apparently they've got a lot of confidence in their claims. Red flag, anybody? 2) They say pieces of code in Linux are from UNIX System V (for which they own the license). Although they haven't released all the examples they've supposedly found (saving it for the courtroom), the ones they have found have been proven to be very flaky - an indication to the nature of their claims, built upon lies, smoke & mirrors. 3) In response to Bruce Perens' picking apart their presentation, they respond with an open letter, in which the original article is completely misquoted and taken out of context. This is getting more blatantly absurd by the day. fin: I hope IBM stomps these fools into the ground in the courtroom. In fact, this is so totally unethical I hope these guys go to jail - and not the white collar kind, but the pound me in the ass prison (sorry). It really makes me want to hurl just reading about this stuff, so I try not to. If you want more details, here's a website that gives continual updates and a detailed scoop. This is such a mockery of the American legal system, of businesses, of consumers, admittedly each of which are far from perfect, but this is the kid who has chocolate smeared all over his face and fingers, pointing at some other kid claiming loudly and vehemently that the other kid ate the candy - bold lies, no conscience whatsoever. Our next friend: RIAA The RIAA has a legal (by the letter, but arguably not in spirit) claim to music. While I'm no advocate of music piracy, the bullying tactics employed by the RIAA are enough to sour any sympathy they might have with the public. They consistently produce claims that are ridiculous - its insulting and incredibly patronising the way they're treating the very people who've been putting money into their pockets for so many years. What makes it worse is that these people are nothing but middle men - they don't create the music, they don't listen to the people who buy the music, they don't promote good will (inflated CD prices), pretty much they have no redeeming quality for anyone. They just sit in the middle and make a hat-load of money. Their claims are inflated and reek of a legalistic self-righetousness - stomping over businesses, the public, the government in a messy fit of indignation. Yes, it'll make you wanna puke. 1) Instead of identifying consumer trends wisely & going with it (a la Apple's iTunes) they're going with the communist China approach of "You've violated us - now you will die." They're haphazardly handing out subpoenas - strongarm scare tactics. I've never heard of anyone doing anything like this before. 2) 12 year old girl sued for music downloading. 3) a google search for riaa tactics will reveal pages upon pages of stories of how disgustingly they've gone about this whole thing. 4) the RIAA has kindly offered an amnesty program. Thanks guys. You're the best. From the article about the 12-yr-old girl: "Nobody likes playing the heavy and having to resort to litigation," said Cary Sherman, the RIAA's president. "But when your product is being regularly stolen, there comes a time when you have to take appropriate action." Aww poor Cary. Cause you worked so hard to write that song all by yourself, and now the bad people have come and stolen it from you. The irony is after ripping off the American people for so long, they can't stand to have a taste of their own.

Cell phone irony

This morning, while sitting in my room, it gently dawned on me again. Do you know how good it is, to know and trust in a sovereign God, who is also genuinely kinder than any person I've ever met on the planet? I could imagine nothing better. And I've experienced nothing better in life. God is all powerful. And he loves me as a son. Could it be true? Undoubtedly so. By faith, I trust in him, and each step of the way, his specific acts and words of kindness have been so real. My experience in this world has taught me to basically expect the worst, because that's probably what you're gonna get in any given situation. I wasn't born with this cynicism - its a defense mechanism the world has brutually taught me through the years. And so I bring this mentality with me when I come to God, yet I find myself repeatedly disarmed by his gentleness, kindness, and creativity. Not only do I not get the worst, I get way better than I could've come up with by myself. And he takes so much pleasure in displaying the riches of his kindness to me. Man, what an awesome God! And on the flipside, I think about how scary it is, to have emnity with the all-powerful God, whose justice and righteousness are beyond all comprehension. A God who declares that all sin must be paid for. And that line between falling into the judgment of God, or resting in his mercies forever - lies one single, gigantic, and simple truth - Jesus is Lord. Either he can pay for our sins, or we can pay for it ourselves. But the cost is simply more than we can afford. Not one hundred thousand acts of good will, not being a good person, not even practicing the right religion or going to the right church or temple consistently could ever pay the price. The bible declares "that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." God has made it so simple that a child could enter into his mercies.

Back to the grind, from the Labor day getaway. Vacations are so so nice. I noticed how refreshed I felt, being back at work after a 4 day weekend. Incidentally, I just read a blurb on Ars Technica regarding the productivity of US workers. The ensuing discussion thread was rather interesting as well. Compared to European culture, Americans get a piddling amount of vacation time. From what I read, many European countries, by law require employees to have 25 days of vacation per year! OK anyway, the grass is always greener. I'm really thankful for my job - it's a fantastic fit for the things that I'm interested in, and good at. And the vacation time I do have, and the 40 hour work weeks really aren't bad at all. So I'll shut my mouth now. Heck, I'm not in a third-world country pick-pocketing tourists for the local gangs or whatnot, just to survive. Or living in a one-room house with 10 other people, working 10 hour days 7 days a week to make $200 a year. Actually, in the kingdom perspective, do those things even matter? Everyone has a time & a place in this intricate tapestry of life, and to strive 50-60 years to simply improve quality of life ... and then die, seems so meaningless. Or to pass on an inheritance of wealth or quality of life to the next generation, for what?

In New Jersey, at my cousin's house right now. Pretty nice around here. Its unbelievable how many people are in Manhattan. Just a sea of people & cars. This keyboard is really loud and clicky and my cousin is sleeping right now so I gotta go see ya.

What should be the husband's role in marriage? Oh I see! OK, what, then, should be the wife's role in marriage?

Urbana (December 27-31, 2003) is a convention that the Lord will use to change and equip lives for his purpose.

Urbana 03 is both about your future and about your life today. We learn about God’s heart for people in the remotest hills and for the students on our dorm floors. All people are equally valuable to a King who died so we might live. While Urbana conventions always feature some well-known speakers, delegates invariably remember for the rest of their lives the ten-minute testimony of that African missionary who got stoned by villagers, or of that old lady who was held prisoner in Vietnam. Urbana speakers are not necessarily great people of God, but they are always people of a great God. There is nothing quite like an Urbana convention. The atmosphere is at once like a family and a city. People return from the convention changed forever. Being in a posture of submission to God’s reign in your life, you may be stunned by how bright, big, and alive is the world, and how great is its need for Jesus. At Urbana 03, join 20,000 college students, missionaries, and church and campus leaders. Seek God’s will for your life. Worship with people of diverse cultures. Learn about God’s passionate love for the world through Bible study, prayer, seminars, and dynamic speakers. Explore opportunities to serve in God’s Kingdom. Impact the world.

If you're trying to decide, maybe this will help decide should I go? Hope to see you there.

In life, its so easy to get caught up in the lack of. Whether its lack of control, time, strength, or money. Or perhaps more personally - lack of love, lack of obedience, lack of discernment, or wisdom. These things can be immediately overwhelming. Or if not, then like a small burden that continues to grow - like a bag of rice we can't put down and someone keeps adding a grain at a time, never ceasing - until the bag just becomes too unwieldy and frustrating to carry any more. In my own life, I feel struggles in many areas: lack of courage - standing up for the things I believe in. Lack of conviction - a compromise of what I know to be truth. Lack of love, lack of ability, and on and on. The easiest way to discern where our eyes are - either looking at our inadequacies, or fixed on God's ability, and willingness to do on our behalf - on his own behalf - the easiest way to tell where our hearts are focused is in response to these inadequacies. Do I find myself in mild despair and hopelessness, or do I find, in that very moment, an overflowing joy in the adequacy of God? God can do it. God will do it. Perhaps a person finds that God has placed in them a willing heart to serve him, yet, the call just seems to difficult or too lofty. Ministry? Not me. I mean, I'd like to please God in serving him, but I'm not capable of it - it's just not who I am. My character is too deeply flawed; I struggle with this sin or that; I'm not smart enough; people don't listen to me; my personal history tells me I fail when I try ... I find that there are two simple steps we can take that are very encouraging and effective. Firstly, sometimes we don't allow ourselves to dream because in our hearts, we inevitably know our dreams will never come true, that to hope, is to eventually have to give up hope - and where hope goes, despair sets in. Well, I've discovered that to just close the eyes, and answer the question, "what if there were no limitations?? what if there were no boundaries? what would life look like?" And to just take the leap - totally dream. And secondly, to then rejoice in the God who - "will do more than we can ask for or imagine." To know and stand firm in the knowledge in our hearts that God loves dreams, particularly dreams that are in line with his own heart. So, first we dream, then in the midst of the dream, God blesses us with the eyes to see that "hey, these things can come to pass! In fact, why wouldn't it happen?" Faith is the one thing that moves the hand of God, and it pleases him tremendously when we say, "without you God, there's no way, ever, this could happen. but with you God, because you said so, it's as good as done." And as we dream, and begin to believe, God will illuminate for us one step at a time to get to that place. It's his promise - "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." God said so, its a done deal! Dream. At least once a week. The bible talks a lot of endurance and patience. So its important to keep dreaming, keep hoping, keep trusting. What the devil does is steal the seeds of hope and faith, and to replace them with hopelessness and doubt - its his character and mission. Showers are good for us and the people around us, but to shower infrequently (once a year?) is really not of much use, right? So dreaming about God's provision and faithfulness is great, and to nurture the attitude of hopefulness and knowing that God will provide every resource, every need, all grace in our lack - is truly food to the soul.

SCO, the company, has been stirring up quite a ruckus - trying to sue the pants off of everyone, and threatening to make people pay license fees for Linux. Linux, the free operating system, which is pretty much not owned by any particular entity. And SCO is claiming rights for it. Ridiculous. Anyway, you know those Nigerian e-mail scams? Here's an SCO parody that's pretty funny.

Back from hotlanta. As a result of living in a place like Houston, it brings me great delight to do some of the small stuff like ride the subway to the airport, or go for a week without a car. It was a lot of fun. I'm sure it'd get routine and sucky after a while, but it was great for this past week. Hmm. I've got a lot I could write about, but not feelin the flow comin on right now. bbl?