Today I'm dreaming of hang gliding. Actually, flying would be sweet, but since that's not really feasible, I'd settle for hang gliding. Birds, although dumb, are cool because they get to fly. The chilly wind blowing through your hair and across your face, so revitalizing, so invigorating. The feeling of lightness within your limbs. Such powerful travel, yet so effortless, carried along by the wind. I think skiing is the closest sensation I've experienced to hang gliding. Loooonging for more in life.

There they are. My new kicks. The alien shoes. Time to ball it up. Now, I need to upgrade my game to match my shoes.

"No man is an island unto himself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." -John Donne Life wouldn't be so interesting if things didn't get difficult every once in a while, I think. (more like every single day) How to deal with people is probably one of the most difficult things. I'm realizing that little else matters in life than how we learn to deal with people. I've been discussing with some friends recently about family relationships. Why is it that it can be so hard to get along with family? The ones that matter to us the most, the ones that whose lives are intimately intertwined with ours, why is patience is far shorter with them than with friends or even strangers? My coworker John has a theory, based on experience, about tolerances. He says that with each person in our lives, we have a tolerance meter for that person. Kinda like hit points in an RPG. The more time we spend with that person, the further down the meter goes, until we have to spend some time apart to recharge the meter. Spending too much time with specific people may also result in irreversible damage to the meter and to the relationship. I think that my own experience validates John's theory, but its such a depressing perspective on interpersonal relationships. I think that people inherently crave and need relationships. It's how we were created. I'm realizing all the time that the sooner I resolve to embrace the people around me, not just bear with them, the better off they and I will both be. What's the appeal of the internet anyways? What is the attraction of message forums, asian avenue, aol, etc.? (generalization-->) These forms of communication (somewhat) satisfy our need for intimacy while drawing up a barrier where our delicate emotions, ego, and fragile identity can be easily protected or withdrawn. From the day we're born, we begin to experience pain, and most of the time, it comes from the people around us. We deal with it by retracting certain vulnerable pieces into a protected chamber, leaving the hardened outer shell. We develop rules on who we let into the vulnerable place, if anyone, and on what terms. OK, that's enough gross generalization, speculation, and psycho-analysis from this simpleton. I wish I had something more interesting to share. I'll try to think of something better tomorrow. See ya.

I'm so excited. So, I think, if you'll notice at the beginning of my web-log, if you read into it just slightly, you can see the boredom that is oozing out of my words. For a while now, I've struggled with being utterly unsatisfied and bored to the point of ... well, not a good place. So, my father in heaven sees me and knows my heart. His desire IS to delivery me from myself, my selfishness, my self-centeredness, and all that great stuff. But he's also the greatest. Father to the fatherless, and the best giver of gifts. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." He once told me that he would fill my life with great spiritual adventures. Through that promise, he's also filled my life with hope. Every once in a while, some really funky stuff happens, and when these type of events occur, it is very much God setting me up for something, and also stretching my limits. Today, Klinton, Grant, and I hosted a crawfish broil. That was exciting. 41 lbs. of water roaches. When we started cooking them, Pastor Joy called me and told me about some 200+ people from Sudan, Africa who were living in Houston. These people kind of know God, but perhaps not all of them are saved. She asked me to join her today in visiting them at their apartment complex, and for me to lead worship. I was like, "uhh, I don't really do that, but I'm willing to go." I called Vincent and he agreed to lead worship tonight. After we ate crawfish, a few of us headed over to their apartment complex. It turns out they live right across the street from me- in a complex on the other side of Gessner. Literally a 2 minute drive from my house. I was very much apprehensive at first- not knowing how the night would be is scary, not knowing who these people are, not knowing how to share about my savior, not knowing what were the right words to say, not knowing if God would do his thing. Very scary. But the word of God says, "cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." Oh yeah. That's my daddy. So very scary becomes very exciting. Woohoo, I love adventures. Man, what an absolute eye-opening experience. Back in Sudan, over 13 years ago, a civil war started. Many parents, fearful for their own lives and the lives of their children, gathered all the kids together and sent them alone, escaping out to Ethiopia. After living there for several years, they moved to Kenya. During their journey across Africa, many were swept down rivers, never to be seen again. Some were literally eaten by wild animals. Finally, a decade later, many have been sent over here to the United States. A new hope for life. The lost boys are scattered around the US, and still more are coming over. There's still a lot of issues that I'm dealing with. It's hard, but fun. In a conversation with two of the Sudanians- John and Peter: Me: What's your favorite food? John: Different here and Africa. In Africa, like those [potato chips] but bigger. Me: Very good? John: Very good. Me: You too [Peter]? Peter: My favorite too. Me: What about here in America? Have you ever had McDonald's? John & Peter: Huh? Me: McDonald's ... burgers, fries... John: No. But pizza is very good. But its very expensive so we cannot eat it often. Wow. Other conversations: you have a car? you finished school? you have a driver's license? you know how to use computers? you have a job? Almost incredulous at the opportunity here. I'm know in my head that I should not to feel guilty for growing up in America, because I know that for each individual, God has "determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live" (Acts 17:26). But in my heart, my heart, since I was young, has always been for the poor, has always had compassion on those who don't have much. Today, in their midst, I wanted to give, give, give. My life has been filled to abundance, with so much! They, now living in America, have so much more than they've EVER had in their entire lives, yet our lifestyles are on entirely different scales. (Note comment several days ago about do I live like a king or what). Yet, a part of me tells me that they are really the ones who are blessed. That any sense of pity that I have is misplaced. For I've put far too much value on material blessings, and not realized that all the struggles they've gone through will manifest themselves in the form of great spiritual blessings, which is worth farr more than anything money can buy. Anyways. I'm very much excited. I think that God definently has a plan for me in this, and I am very very grateful. God knows best, and having that confidence in my heart satisfies me so much. They were so grateful for everything! Here I was, worrying (in the flesh- against my own will) about how things are going to turn out, and they were utterly grateful just to have someone share the word of God with them. Oh man. Here I am, worrying about stupid doctrinal issues and who's right and who isn't, and all they want is so simple- they thank the almighty God for delivering them from death and they want to hear his word. So simple. It really meant so much to them that we were willing to go and hang out with them tonight. I can't wait to be with them again. I think we're going to have a small group every Saturday night. Yay! There's so much more that occured tonight. Too much to talk about. One of them said they might go back to Africa, and I can go with them and they'll show me around. ^_^

I was once trying to explain to a physician, who had charge of a large hospital, what consecration meant, and its necessity, but he seemed unable to understand. At last I said to him, "Suppose, in going your rounds among your patients, you should meet with one man who entreated you earnestly to take his case under your especial care in order to cure him, but who should at the same time refuse to tell you all the symptoms, or to take all your prescribed remedies; and should say to you, `I am quite willing to follow your directions as to certain things, because they commend themselves to my mind as good, but in other matters I prefer judging for myself and following my own directions.' What would you do in such a case?" I asked. "Do!" he replied with indignation, -- "do! I would soon leave such a man as that to his own care. For of course," he added, "I could do nothing for him, unless he would put his whole case into my hands without any reserves, and would obey my directions implicitly." "It is necessary then," I said, "for doctors to be obeyed, if they are to have any chance to cure their patients?" "Implicitly obeyed!" was his emphatic reply. "And that is consecration," I continued. "God must have the whole case put into His hands without any reserves, and His directions must be implicitly followed." "I see it," he exclaimed, -- "I see it! And I will do it. God shall have His own way with me from henceforth." Perhaps to some minds the word "abandonment" might express this idea better. But whatever word we use, we mean an entire surrender of the whole being to God; spirit, soul, and body placed under His absolute control, for Him to do with us just what He pleases. We mean that the language of our soul, under all circumstances, and in view of every act, is to be, "Thy will be done." We mean the giving up of all liberty of choice. We mean a life of inevitable obedience. To a soul ignorant of God, this may look hard. But to those who know Him, it is the happiest and most restful of lives. He is our Father, and He loves us, and He knows just what is best, and therefore, of course, His will is the very most blessed thing that can come to us under all circumstances. I do not understand how it is that Satan has succeeded in blinding the eyes of the Church to this fact. But it really would seem as if God's own children were more afraid of His will than of anything else in life; His lovely, lovable will, which only means loving-kindnesses and tender mercies, and blessings unspeakable to their souls. I wish I could only show to every one the unfathomable sweetness of the will of God. Heaven is a place of infinite bliss because His will is perfectly done there, and our lives share in this bliss just in proportion as His will is perfectly done in them. He loves us, loves us, and the will of love is always blessing for its loved one. Some of us know what it is to love, and we know that could we only have our way, our beloved ones would be overwhelmed with blessings. All that is good, and sweet, and lovely in life would be poured out upon them from our lavish hands, had we but the power to carry out our will for them. And if this is the way of love with us, how much more must it be so with our God, who is love itself. Could we but for one moment get a glimpse into the mighty depths of His love, our hearts would spring out to meet His will, and embrace it as our richest treasure; and we would abandon ourselves to it with an enthusiasm of gratitude and joy, that such a wondrous privilege could be ours. A great many Christians actually seem to think that all their Father in heaven wants is a chance to make them miserable, and to take away all their blessings, and they imagine, poor souls, that if they hold on to things in their own will, they can hinder Him from doing this. I am ashamed to write the words, and yet we must face a fact which is making wretched hundreds of lives. A Christian lady who had this feeling, was once expressing to a friend how impossible she found it to say, "Thy will be done," and how afraid she should be to do it. She was the mother of one only little boy, who was the heir to a great fortune, and the idol of her heart. After she had stated her difficulties fully, her friend said, "Suppose your little Charley should come running to you tomorrow and say, `Mother, I have made up my mind to let you have your own way with me from this time forward. I am always going to obey you, and I want you to do just whatever you think best with me. I know you love me, and I am going to trust myself to your love.' How would you feel towards him? Would you say to yourself, `Ah, now I shall have a chance to make Charley miserable. I will take away all his pleasures, and fill his life with every hard and disagreeable thing I can find. I will compel him to do just the things that are the most difficult for him to do, and will give him all sorts of impossible commands." "Oh, no, no, no!" exclaimed the indignant mother. "You know I would not. You know I would hug him to my heart and cover him with kisses, and would hasten to fill his life with all that was sweetest and best." "And are you more tender and more loving than God?" asked her friend. "Ah, no," was the reply, "I see my mistake, and I will not be afraid of saying `Thy will be done,' to my Heavenly Father, any more than I would want my Charley to be afraid of saying it to me." -The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, chapter 4.

I woke up late today. Ate chirashi last night, after a nice workout. Had some Asahi Super Dry. Do I live like a king or what? Interesting guide for sushi fans. Quotes of interest:

I know the best way to enjoy a dish for you is to follow your own ways. You don't have to follow the way I introduce. Should I use chop sticks? No. Sushi is one of the small number of Japanese food which you are recommended to use your fingers. It is not only okay to eat without chop sticks but also recommended to use your fingers. Which side of sushi should I put the soy sauce on? The fish side. You don't want soy sauce absorbed in the rice, which kills the fish flavor. Flip the sushi and bring it to the soy sauce.

Alright. Time to raise up and get some work done 'round this foo.

Listen in on Metro tonight. It's LIVE so don't delay. 7:30 - 9:00 pm central time, click here. Just do it. Sit back. relax. Get fed.

The ancient greeks were really big on the theatre. They believed that a good play, whether tragedy or comedy, was beneficial to a person because of katharsis, a purging of the soul. So tonight, God led me to watch i am sam. I didn't know much about the movie, but I did know I wanted to watch it. Strangely enough, I had randomly watched the trailer to i am sam (and MiB 2- looks very funny!) today at work on the internet. Vince called me to go watch the mothman prophesies at 8:10p.m. Well, truthfully, I didn't really want to go. The only prophesies I'm really interested in are the biblical kind, so I was a bit hesitant to go watch it. 8:10p.m. rolls around and I'm still at home, because of the way things worked out- eating with the parents and all. Vince calls me and I inform him that I won't be making it to the movie tonight. The phone rings again 5 minutes later. Interestingly enough, Vince tells me that the 8:10p.m. showing of the mothman prophesies was cancelled, and I had exactly 20 minutes to get to AMC 30 for i am sam. So I hop in my car and head out to the theatre. Coincidences abound. Or maybe divine planning. Anyway, I'm not going to get into the details about the movie too much, because I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet. I will say this: I haven't ever cried this much in a movie before. I'm talkin' about I walked out of that movie theatre dehydrated, with salt caked on my cheeks, because I cried so much. I think the reason why the emotions flowed so freely for me at this movie and not at others is because typically, movies will have contrived moments of drama and sadness. In this case, I found that the quill that pricked my heart was this: the story reflects the very essense of the struggle of humanity, or at least of my own life, in a very, very tender and delicate manner. Almost like seeing a reflection of a mountain setting in a clear, still lake. The detail is so clear, so defined, so crisp, so life-like - that it absolutely steals your breath away for just a moment. The delicateness is of this nature- a moment frozen in time- then something, something- some animal in the water, some slight breeze disrupts the picture and then its gone, the only thing left is an indelible impression in your memory. I think tonight, I'll be writing down all the things revealed through the movie. Perhaps I'll publish those thoughts later on. For now, I'll leave with this passage: (Luke 18:16-17) Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." The heart of a child has nothing to do with perfection. Quite the opposite, it has to do with a vulnerability, transparent trust, and a simple but strong love. I think that's the heart that King David had towards God, and that heart is reflected beautifully all throughout the psalms, and its why he was recognized as a man after God's own heart.

Biore pore strips are better than Pond's pore strips. Pond's are too sticky and seem to be less effective in removing the nasty blackheads. uhh .. or so I've heard ... Two psalms to share: The first one thing actually appears in two different places. 108 and 57. It goes a lil' somethin' like this: My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. I will awaken the dawn. This really speaks to me. The imagery is so neat. I can just imagine King David waking up way early when everyone is still sleeping and the sky is still dark. Laying on his bed. Thinking. And just talking to God. And then, gladness and the joy of knowing God starts to fill his heart so completely to the point where he just has to do something about it or he'll burst. So he busts out the good ole' harp and belts out a joyful, heartfelt tune across the country side. The sun, hearing the wake-up call from David, blinks its eyes from sleepiness, yawns, *stretches*, then gets up to greet the earth with its warm radiance. What a cool, cool picture. I want to awaken the dawn! Now, if I could only wake up ... The second psalm is awesome. I'll get to it in a sec. I'm finishing up a book that I started about a year ago called The Spiritual Man. Watchman Nee, the author, is a Chinese guy who walked with the Lord all the days of his life. And he records much of what he learned about walking with God, and teaches through scripture. This final chapter in the book deals with healing. As Christians, we read the Bible and see that Jesus and his apostles healed many people of sickness and cast out many demons. Why is this relatively scarce these days? Uh oh .. this is treading into rant territory so I'll stay away from there, at least for today. But yeah, Nee teaches out of 1 Corinthians, that the body in which the Holy Spirit lives is, quite literally, the temple of God. We know this in our heads, but we don't believe it thoroughly in our hearts. Jesus Christ has not just solved the problem of our sin. He also heals our sickness and strengthens us when we're weary. Despite the fact that most of our churches do not teach this sort of thing, its made very very clear in the word. Old testament, new testament, no difference. All over the place. God is the source of our healing, the source of our strength, not just for our spirits and our minds, but even for our bodies. I've seen the power of the Word of God in the life of Christians. I've experienced it. Faith is spiritual currency. It's almost seems like cheating. Everything else in life seems like it must be earned. Instead, just believe in God. And it's really not hard, considering the one we're trying so hard to trust is ... oh, only the creator of the ENTIRE J00NIVERSE. To the degree in which we believe that God is able, God is able. Why is that? Well because God is infinite and limitless. Ephesians says, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Amen, indeed Paul-o. Immesurably more. An amount that cannot possibly be measured. That much more than ALL that we could ever ask, or even imagine. Oh wait, tell me again, where is that power at work? Oh yeah, that's right, within us! Jawesome. So, back to the psalm. This one just rocks the house. Number 18 (NASB): For You light my lamp; The LORD my God illumines my darkness. For by You I can run upon a troop; And by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the LORD is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. Soak in it, baby. God is not a theology. God is not an academic understanding of grace and mercy. God is not a historical document. God is a provider! God is near to all who call on him. David was a man who was dear to God. A man who fully trusted in the nearness of his God. And the testimony of his heart is, by my God, I can leap over a wall. That's the truth. Know it. Does God only heal those who are über-spiritual? Those who have got it together, read their Bibles everyday, and have plans to go to seminary? No, indeed, God heals the sick, those who come to him in desperation with their needs, and he does this with no regard to our merit. That is so sweet.

Today is Saturday. Saturday in Jewish tradition is known as the sabbath, a day of rest ordained by God. So, seeing that I'm a 100% red blooded Jew, I'm resting today. Heh. Just kidding. But as Long says, rest is spiritual. Since my week has been so full of activity, I figured this is a great opportunity to just chill out and take things slowly, as they come. My relaxing activity of the day was to make some Puppy's Breath Chili, with a few variations. Why this recipe? Well, first off, its a winner. Secondly, it contains no beans. I mean, I'll eat beans sometimes, but they're just not a favorite food, know what I mean? Anyways, I gotta go eat my chili. See ya.