This morning, my father was on a mission. Destiny awaited him, and he was ready for it. His family couldn't do it, we'd already tried and failed. My brother earned a PlayStation 2 with his excellent academic track record, and finally cashed in on his hard work a few weeks ago. He'd been so looking forward to the game/epic saga Final Fantasy X. After a long ordeal with a memory card shortage, finally it seemed all was well. Parents were satisfied with great academic fortitude, son was happy with epic saga video game. We paid $299 for the PS2 system. Then, Micro$oft announced a $100 price maulslash on the X-Box. Unrest was felt in the gaming community. The force was now unbalanced, and something had to give. Change was impending, inevitable. Rumors and wild speculation flung about like dough in a pizza parlor. Then it happened, then the fateful day arrived ... May 14, 2002 - The price cut was announced. The PS2 is now $199. I still remember so clearly the moment I first heard the news. Sitting at my desk, getting ready for work - checking the gaming forums for the latest - expecting the typical humdrum daily announcements. And then I saw it - it hit me with the force of a stunning redhead in a black & white construct. Joy, fear, and uncertainty immediately flooded by body, and I grew dizzy with excitement. Joy at the prospect of being elligible for a 30-day price guarantee. FEAR at the chance of not receiving a tidy refund. Uncertainty as in, "oh gosh, where the waldo is the receipt??" In the twisted irony of fate - the receipt was missing. Thrown out by a careless mother, perhaps an ignorant son, only God knows ... Thus, the duty now rested upon the brave father. Armed with courage, faith, and social engineering skills - daddy headed out bright and early, 9:00 a.m., ready for an encounter with the mindless dronesemployees at Fry's Electronics. The family awaited in the following hours in what seemed like eternity ... no news is almost worse than bad news, but at least with no news there's still hope and sometimes, when hope is all you have left, its more valuable than gold - it can sustain a man and his will to live. Then - the return. The sound of the garage opening, the car's engine extinguishing with a putter, the cracking open of the door. The brave warrior takes a step into his abode. With the unique excitement that only comes in that fleeting moment prior to revelation, where the unknown comes into light, the family gathers around their leader. Quietly and gently he recounts the tale of How My Father Got Our One Hundred Bucks Back Despite Us Losing the Receipt. And we rejoiced! The enemy had been conquered, vanquished, driven back! And our daddy had come through when none of us could. Armed with a credit card receipt and the sales database at Fry's (thank the Lord for technology), my father came, saw, and conquered. And thus ... we live to see another day. Happily ever after, yada yada ...

I came upon this in a pretty roundabout way, but I think its most definently worth sharing. The following link is a list of all the last statements of Texas death row inmates who have been capitally punished. Some sober reading. Not sure how genuine some of these statements are, but I suppose when the end-of-life-as-you-know-it is minutes away, there's probably not much sense in maintaining any masks. Jason Massey

I watched Spy Game this evening, for the third time, and I gotta say, this movie rocks. Along with about 50% of the population (the ones with Y chromosomes), I used to think Brad Pitt was such a pretty boy weaknut. Then, after awesome showings in Snatch, Fight Club, and Spy Game, I completely retract my previous opinion of the man. In fact, he's since become one of my favorite actors, if not my favorite. Here's why: in these movies, he's consistently rugged, not muscle bound, but skinny, sinewy, seriously tough, and completely unaware of pain. Not a mashochist, just ... unphazed. I love the scene when Robert Redford first meets Brad Pitt in Spy Game, in Vietnam. Pitt is a boy scout turned military sniper - totally unapologetic, not in the least bit out to please, unashamed of his background and who he is, all summed up in an undeliberate and steadily intense gaze. Redford, too, is a man's man in his own way - wiley and weasily veteran, intensely sneaky and intuitive, cold blooded in his manipulation of situations and people, smart, creative, charming. Again, completely unapologetic. Unconcerned with formal protocol and rules of engagement. Unafraid to be dangerous. Perhaps the ladies who were turned on to Brad from the beginning saw something that us guys overlooked about being a hero? Hehe, or maybe they just thought he was a really good lookin chap. That always seems to help. One thing in particular that I really really appreciate about my time in college around the fellas was this - the tremendous appetite for life, laughter, and adventure I find in my friends. They pursue excitement in this lifetime to the fullest of their energies - as said - "All men die, few men ever really live." In my college friends I find a group of people who are unafraid of risk, unafraid to take a loss to push the envelope of excitement for the now - gamblers at heart indeed. The implementation of which I believe is ultimately flawed, but the heart behind which I truly appreciate and learn from, and I think, for better or for worse, has become a part of me. Allow me to quote a line or two from the Dirty Ratz webpage - pardon the french, but I think this pretty much sums it up: Question 1:The name suggests that all of you guys are DIRTY. Is that true?? Yes, by heart, we are all dirty. We embrace our dirtiness and use it for good rather than evil. Of course, some men are Dirtier than others. Question 2: How do I get to be a DirtyRat?? There are no membership dues or physical requirements that might suggest that you are a DirtyRat (maybe a T-shirt coming soon). You just have to have a Dirty aura about you. Our Dirty trips are great initiation tools for the beginners and are one of the requirements to be a Dirty Ratz. Follow some experienced DirtyRatz around and observe their movements, gestures and actions. Learn and marvel at the Level of Dirty they've mastered. Remember, being a DirtyRat is a 24/7 occupation. It is not for the faint of heart!! Consider carefully before take your next step to Dirtiness. Question 3: What are the requirements for a DirtyRat? One of the most important requirements is the ability to say "fuck it, let's do it". Allow me to demonstrate. A fellow Dirty Rat comes up to you and says, "Our next Dirty mission is to go sky diving. You down?" You are thinking to yourself, "i'm afraid of heights, i'm broke as a joke, and I want to live ....blah...blah...blah...." Whatever weaknut. This is very critical. If you can say "fuck it, let's do it" without hesitation then you're are a true Dirty Rat at heart. Remember, all men are not created equal, some men are Dirtier than others. It's OK to back down. With that, I leave you with some images of God's own creation, and our appreciation of it: Beautiful waterfall at yosemite. One of my favorite pics. Cong & I. More to come later ...

The weekend is here! Summer is here! This will be an excellent weekend.

At the end of this month, I'm going to Alaska for a week-long vacation. I can't wait ... to see the great open skies. The vastness of the land, the chill in the air that pierces the skin and reminds you that you're still so very much alive. I want to fish. Maybe challenge a sea otter to a one-on-one fight to the death. Who would you put your money on, me or the otter? What's up sea otter? Who's your daddy? Time to meet your maker buddy.  You appoint darkness and it becomes night,  In which all the beasts of the forest prowl about.  The young lions roar after their prey  And seek their food from God.  You turn man back into dust  And say, "Return, O children of men."  For a thousand years in Your sight  Are like yesterday when it passes by,  Or as a watch in the night.  You have swept them away like a flood, they fall asleep;  In the morning they are like grass which sprouts anew.  In the morning it flourishes and sprouts anew;  Toward evening it fades and withers away.  For He Himself knows our frame;  He is mindful that we are but dust.  As for man, his days are like grass;  As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.  When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,  And its place acknowledges it no longer.  But the lovingkindness of the LORD  is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,  And His righteousness to children's children. Happy birthday to Byung Rhee! He's turning 22 today!

He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

If ANY of you geeklings use or appreciate streaming audio, please click on this link and get involved. Just a minute of your time. The RIAA sucks. Internet radio offers access to many forms of music which aren't mainstream and easily accessible via AM/FM - many forms of jazz, world music, underground, etc. If you're willing, this link is a quick and easy way to contact your House Rep and Senators. Moreover, I believe these things only work en masse, so if you enjoy streaming audio, tell your friends about this, post it in your info, or wherever, and let people know.

Alrighty. Greetings everyone! Today, I had to take in the car for brake service, so I got a Z3 loaner. During lunch. I put the top down and couldn't get it back up. Oh well. Quite fun though! Last night, after the Y, I stopped by First Baptist for a Watermark coffee house. Had a wonderfully awesome time. Here are some things I learned while there: 1) One of the most truly beautiful things in the earth is a glimpse of a soul captured by God. A heart so completely grasped by the Almighty, in such surrender and close communion with God - hardly any form of beauty could rival this. 2) The most meaningful and consequential way to pursue and practice friendships is through the eyes and heart of God. To lift them heavenward, to earnestly and consistently desire the will of God for their lives, to see them through the eyes of eternity, to plead with the Almighty for their souls - this is love. 3) The depth of love of God is deeper than the deepest ocean. The width of the love of God is wider than the widest ocean.

When Debbie and I broke up - she told me to listen to a song by Garth Brooks, called Unanswered Prayers. I revisited those lyrics today and I just wanted to put them up for thought:

Just the other night a hometown football game My wife nd I ran into my old high school flame And as I introduced them the past came back to me And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be She was the one that I'd wanted for all times And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then I'd never ask for anything again Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams And I could tell that time had changed me Inn her eyes too it seemed We tried to talk about the old days There wasn't much we could recall I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all And as she walked away and I looked at my wife And then and there I thanked the good Lord For the gifts in my life Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered... Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

This isn't a deeply expressive song about the way I feel right now, or anything profound like that. Just something interesting. Emotions are squirrelly and psycotic. Lots of people have that thing in their info: "Love like you've never been hurt before." Pshaw. I think hurt can be a necessary part of life - through it, we learn how to not be so reckless and to guard our hearts (when it comes to romantic relationships). Because I believe pursuing a romantic relationship with just anyone can be quite dangerous. Of course, there are the days of old when people got married when they were, what, 13 years old? Perhaps that's the way to go. Get hitched while you're uber-young, then you're in for the long haul. It seems perhaps people didn't do so much "shopping." List of requirements kind of crap. OK, since this is my blogspot, I'll rant if I want to. What makes me ill is people who say, "oh my future husband (or wife) must be funny, successful, nice, rich, etc etc etc." Hello, you're setting yourself up for failure. To pin your hopes on and to place expectations on other people is just ... I dunno. Not cool.

The last two days, I've been getting my feet wet with some JavaScript/DHTML stuff. Wow, the web standards have progressed very far. I'm so impressed with the amount of things that can be done with JS, CSS, DHTML, etc. Lots of acronyms. Really amazing, almost anything is possible now, as far as a UI standpoint.

Observation: Quite often, on a three lane freeway, the slowest people are also in the middle lane. Why? I'm not trying to play psychologist here or anything (well actually I am) and perhaps there's some very simple traffic related explanation for this behavior, but this is what occured to me when I noticed this phenomenon. The middle lane represents a source of comfort. Although there's cars all around - to the left - to the right - still, the middle lane has the least risk of falling off course. The opposite phenomenon is driving on a freeway in which there is no shoulder in the left lane - only a concrete barrier (a la I-10 in the past). That is really unnerving, one wrong move and its smash city. Consistent with the security and comfort of the middle lane is the speed by which the drivers drive - a cautious safe speed. On the other hand, the left lane is for bookin it, and the rightmost lane is for those people who think the left lane is moving too slow. That's all I have to say about this. Bye.

Vincent, your uncle has an excellent grasp of the substance of faith in his newsletter, the Elijah Challenge. Let me post it here for you: DO YOU TALK TO TREES? (Jesus did.) In last week's Herald we saw that Jesus spoke in some anger to a tree, something that most of us would not normally do. The question we pose is: did Jesus actually expect the tree to "hear" and obey Him? The answer every believer knows is yes. But most of us do not know the great ramifications this has for us as followers of Christ, for Scripture says that His followers will do the works that He did. We invite you to read on... JESUS’ SECRET Mark 11:14 Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it. …20 In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Indeed, the fig tree “heard” his words, and obeyed him as it withered from the roots. Due to this incident we see that “speaking to a mountain” might not be quite as metaphoric as it first appears to be. 21 Peter remembered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!” Peter’s response was likely due to curiosity as much as it was due to amazement at the miracle. Inasmuch as he had a tendency to imitate Jesus---for example, he tried to walk on water---he may have wanted to understand how Jesus accomplished such a feat. Perhaps Peter could learn to do the same. 22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. According to the original Greek, Jesus literally said, “have the faith of God.” Let us assume that this strange choice of wording was not because of Mark’s lack of facility in the Greek language, but rather because this is exactly what Jesus wanted to teach. (This assumption, however, is not crucial to the teaching.) What exactly is the “faith of God?” Does God indeed have faith? To answer this, let’s continue with Jesus’ teaching. 23 “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Jesus proceeds to teach about speaking to a mountain. What follows is evidently a teaching about none other than mountain-moving faith: if someone commands a mountain to move, and has absolutely no doubt that the mountain will obey him and fully believes that his command will be obeyed, it will be done for him. This is the operational definition of mountain-moving faith. This is functionally equivalent to the “faith of God.” For example, can God move a mountain? Yes, of course. How might He accomplish it? He might do it by natural or human means (for example by detonation of powerful explosives), or He might do it supernaturally. If supernaturally, how might He move the mountain? Most believers would agree that He could speak to the mountain and command it to move, and of course the mountain would obey the command and move. Now, how would God speak to the mountain? When He speaks, would he entertain some doubt that the mountain would move? Might He wonder, if even momentarily, whether the mountain would actually move? Conversely, would he be completely confident and one hundred percent assured that what He said to the mountain would come to pass? The answers are of course obvious. No, God does not doubt or wonder when He gives a command. He knows who He is. As God Almighty, He has all authority, and therefore, whatsoever He commands must be done. This is the “faith of God.” When God said, “Let there be light,” he had no doubt whatsoever as to the outcome. He was God, and the light would obey, and appear. This is the “faith of God,” this is mountain-moving faith. When Jesus spoke, whether to a fig tree or a dead Lazarus or a demon or a disease, he also spoke with the “faith of God,” not doubting that what he spoke would be obeyed. Because His Father had given him all authority, he spoke and commanded with complete assurance and confidence. Authority from the Father combined with mountain-moving faith produced the miracles in the ministry of Jesus Christ. The disciples had also received a measure of authority over demons and disease from Jesus. But they failed to combine their authority with mountain-moving faith when they confronted the demon, so it did not budge. This is the faith the disciples lacked as they commanded the demon. They wavered, they were not confident the demon had to come out. The bottom line is they did not believe they had authority from Jesus over demons. If they did, they would not have doubted. We must have mountain-moving faith (the ‘faith of God’) if we are going to minister healing to the sick and cast out demons for the advancement of the Kingdom of God---for souls to receive the gospel. This ‘faith of God’ is based on the word of God which tells us that Christ has given us a measure of authority for the sake of the gospel. This is not “faith in our faith.” We speak with authority over demons that oppress people because Scripture says we have been given that authority. God does not doubt when He issues a command, for He knows His authority as God; all things must obey Him. This is the “faith of God.” We also have a measure of authority over disease and demons given to us by Jesus, and we must not doubt that they will obey us when we command them to leave. This is the “faith of God” that releases the power and anointing to accomplish the miracle for the sake of the gospel. If we want to see miraculous healings as ministers of the gospel, we must understand what authority we have in Christ, and then speak forth with that authority. It is one thing to know we have some authority over demons and disease, it is another thing to actually speak to them with that authority. Christ has given us a measure of his authority for the sake of the gospel. But for the power to be manifest, we must speak to demons and disease with the ”faith of God,” without doubting that they will obey our command in Jesus’ name. What is the difference between "faith in God" and the "faith of God?" In the next issue of the Elijah Challenge Herald, we will answer this important question.

A quick update: 1) Ordered an 80gig harddrive from, of all places, Dell. Yeah, I feel like I'm sleeping with the enemy. 2) Ordered a handful of books from Amazon. Wild at Heart, and some books about spiritual disciplines and devotions. Looking forward to reading these. 3) Went to glitter karaoke for the first time today. Quite an interesting night. Many of my friends are getting well into their twenties. I just wanted to post the lyrics to an old song by mr Lionel Richie I heard this evening:

Hello, is it me you're looking for? 'Cause I wonder where you are And I wonder what you do Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart For I haven't got a clue But let me start by saying .... I love you

4) Life ... is pretty interesting. ta ta.

It's one of those days. Work feels like school all over again. Sitting in class .. bored to the point of tears. Wishing and hoping for some sort of deliverance. Not wanting to live if the rest of life is like this. Well. Maybe not that bad. Yeah. That bad. I discovered that I have an installation of Blackbox on my Linux machine, and I fired it up. Man, I'm afraid of what's happening to me. I'm becoming one of those weird Linux people. This is fun. Their (Blackbox) philosophy is based on minimalism. You say, what in the world could be fun about minimalism? Yeah, I'd like a slice of bread and a glass of water, GOSH THIS IS UNRESTRAINED LEAKING OUT OF PORES FUN HELP ME. Well it is fun. Not in the bread and water way, but in the sense of - this is like a purebred sports car, ready to be tweaked, sleek like a cheetah, 0.2% body fat, whoa mama get me behind the wheel. What have I become?? Goodbye Internet Explorer. Goodbye Windows. It was nice while it lasted, but I think we should just be friends, k thx bye.

Oh gosh, I really love stories. So, I'm gonna share two that I read at the Ars Technica forums. These are by a guy named Jesus (haysoos, from Argentina). A True Story Of Cowardice: Me and my 3 best friends. We were 12-13 years old, all of us. Sometimes, when his schedule permitted it, my dad used to take us all on saturdays to go do something fun, somewhere. Maybe one day it was to the movies, another to the arcade, etc... That saturday, however, we went to a park to just hang around, do the stuff that we did and play the games that we played. There was *nobody* around. Just us 4. We were just walking around, when after a turn on the path we were walking, like 50 feet away from us we see 3 guys walking towards us. Older than us, but not much. Probably 15-16. We keep walking. They keep walking. Turns out that they were not walking towards us, they were walking to us, and we didn't realize that until they were on our faces (we were caught in our conversation or something). We we forming a line, they were forming a line. Once they got close enough, they proceed with the classical "grab by the lapels", and they "asked" for our jackets and pretty much whatever of value we had on ourselves. However, they were 3 and we were 4. Which means, there was one of that wasn't covered nor grabbed. That'd be me. When the two lines met, I was completely clear. My first instinct was to turn around and run like hell... and I never had a second instinct. I turned around and ran. I pretty much ran till the other end of the park (probably a distance of 3-4 city blocks). And I left my friends there. Without having any other thought than saving my ass, I just left them there and ran. When I stopped running, and after catching my breath, I started walking back trying to find them. Eventually I did. They were completely unharmed... the other guys just took their jackets and that was it. No fights, no nothing. My friends all understood what I did, and they told me that If they were in my place, probably they would've ran away like I did. But, to this day, I still keep kicking myself in the ass (figuratively) for not staying with them. cowardly, trying to save my own neck, I left them there. And to this day, I can't forgive myself. Maybe it's stupid. You could say that I was still very young and my reaction was understandable. And I agree somewhat. I understand my reaction, but I don't approve it. That day, I was a coward. Even for 2 or 3 minutes, but I was. That taught me a lesson allright... never, ever, leave your friends hanging again. And in the future, I'm proud to say that I never did. No matter what. A Fun True Story: Same group of friends (needless to say, you realize at this point that we did everything together). I can't remember if we were younger or older than in the previous story, but what I can remember is that all four of us were crazy, deranged, ultimate fanboys of Robotech (the anime, for the uninitiated). We "role played" Robotech at school, at home, when we met... it was our game and our source of fun. So when in one of these "boys' afternoons out" that my dad used to organize, of course, we were roleplaying Robotech too. We ended up that day going to eat pizza at one of those crummy, run down places that my dad used to know... that happened to serve one of the cheapest, best pizzas in town (those places that fathers know of... ). It was a pretty crummy place... so crummy, that the restrooms didn't have toilet bowls. The men's room in that place was a couple of urinals and the divided compartments, for when you had to go do #2. But, without toilet bowls. It was just the compartments... and a hole in the floor. So, we were role playing Robotech, and apparently the RDF High Command decided to charge our squad with a mission of utmost importance for the future of humanity: To assault and retake the men's room, that was overtaken by Zentraedi forces. Our squad, never to be seen fleeing in the face of danger, accepted gladly. The men's room was in a kinda secluded part of the pizza place, away from the activity of waiters and tables, so that gave us enough room to 'perform'. And 'perform' we did... The squad leader (my friend Cristian) kicked the men's room door, with his 'weapon' ready in his hand. Then we followed him promptly. The men's room was as silent as a derelict space ship. Not a sound could be heard (but many aromas could be smelled). Upon arrival, we discovered that all the doors to the compartments were closed. Obviously, the Zentraedi treachery knew no bounds. So we decided to 'liberate' the prisoners trapped inside the deadly Zentraedi 'compartments'. I was #2, so it was my turn to act. Not to be overshadowed by my squad leader, I faced the compartment door and kicked it open..... *BLAMMM*... it was empty. Our #3, Gonzalo, imitated the procedure to perfection (we were a very tight squad after all).... kicking the door... *BLAMMM*. And it was empty too. Finally, our friend Mats (a talented Veritech pilot, but sort of a hothead), had his turn to show his prowess. And he did. With sheer determination in his face, he turned to the door and yelled to the top of his lungs "FOR EARTH!!!!!". And then he kicked it open... *BLAMMM* *THUDD* *SPLOSH*... Why so many noises? I explain... The compartment wasn't empty. Apparently one of the 'prisoners' was in there, relieving himself. When suddenly, the door was kicked (*BLAMMM*), hitting him in the back (*THUDD*) and destabilizing him enough so he had to put a foot forward to avoid falling down (*SPLOSH*... and I leave to your imagination to come up with the picture that results from the equation 'hole on the floor' + 'foot' + '*SPLOSH*'... ) Needless to say, we evacuated promptly the Zentraedi trap and returned to our Base/Table. A couple of minutes later, the prisoner emerged from the men's room, looking none too pleased, and with a gigantic wet stain on his pants that went from the shoe of his right leg, up until the middle of his thigh. And smelling like shit. Literally. After that, we decided to 'tone down' our assaults. I can almost see the poor guy in my head, peeing there... minding his own business when suddenly, from the inside of his compartment, he hears a loud kick in the door... the sound of a lot of steps... then a louder kick in a compartment door... , then the sound of a much closer kick... then somebody yelling VERY LOUDLY "FOR EARTH!!!!", followed by the final, fateful kick. If that doesn't break a man, nothing will.(*) Peace... (*): Well, maybe getting hit on your back in mid-urination by a swinging door that's been kicked open and lodging your leg into a hole full of urine and feces will break ya too...