Last weekend turned out to be phenomenal. I really enjoyed the time spent with family, and I feel a renewed vigor in my approach to life. Part of it has to do with the message at church on Sunday. I didn't expect it, but it turns out to be what I needed to hear. So, I've felt pretty aimless over the course of the last few months - wondering about what kind of purpose I have for living, what is there to do with every day. I've had trouble reconciling what is truly meaningful in life, and how to get to a point where what I do with my time - small things or big things - fit in. In the movie, I am Sam, there's several parts where Sam arranges mugs and sugar packets and cheese shakers at Starbucks and Pizza Hut. And he's really meticulous and caring about what he does, even though in the whole scope of things its such a little little thing, it doesn't matter to him - he carries out his tasks with such diligence and so full of meaning. And I realized, for me - school never mattered, work doesn't matter too much, because I just don't really care too much. I mean, if I fail a test or a class, oh well - not a big deal. If I get fired or something - that's ok, my identity and security doesn't come from my work. But along the way, I lose any sort of meaning for doing anything at all. And I kinda think that's what Solomon was getting at in Ecclesiastes - he laments the meaningless of everything in life - then he settles on the conclusion that it's the gift of God for a man to work hard, enjoy the fruit of his labor, eat, and enjoy life. And in all things - to fear and love God is most important. So I'm finding a lot of meaning now in the daily tasks. I got to sit down and truly consider my priorities in life - and recorded a list of goals - short term goals, one-year out goals, and lifelong goals. Things to shoot for, things to live for. And along the way, always keeping in primary focus the kingdom law - to love God and to love people. Several books I'm reading at the moment are Rich Dad, Poor Dad and a very obscure book by Wang Ming Dao (here's a story about him), originally written in Chinese and later translated to English. It's a great great book - very encouraging. I love seeing how God has worked in his church in China. ttyl

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. We're gonna eat out tonite at Fung's Kitchen. Tomorrow morning, (surprise!) we're gonna leave some gifts on the kitchen counter with a birthday card, early in the morning. Yay! May God continue to bless him with a youthful energy and fresh outlook on life.

Saturday ... relaxing, slow, lazy saturday ... I wonder what's gonna happen today.

Alright. Time for a more personal update. Lately, I've been preparing for an early March ski trip - destination Whistler, B.C. This time around, a lot of us (college friends) are buying our own ski/snowboard gear. I guess we enjoy it enough and go frequently enough to warrant buying our own stuff. If anything, I think it makes me feel more "into" the activity of skiing. So in the course of this preparation, its been exciting. Lots of expenses - the trip itself will cost approximately $500-600. The equipment can cost up to another $300-400. That's nearly a thousand bucks this month on leisure. Hmm. It's certainly given me a reason to evaluate how I spend my money, and also ponder what the Lord says about this. I think about how the free-est people on the planet should be those who've tasted the tender, fragrant love of God. I think about what Jesus says, "Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys." I think about how the children of Israel left Egypt with gold and silver and were blessed abundantly materially. My mom tells me repeatedly to develop the habit of saving money on a monthly basis. So far, in the past two years of working, I've not really put away too much in the piggy bank - not really living extravagantly - but just enjoying life and using the finances as things come up. What if I don't save up for retirement? Will I be ok? Will I slip into a life of poverty? Or maybe just less comfortable than my current status? I think ... my hope in God says, "that can't happen when your abba father watches your every step." Then again, perhaps its stepping out of the zone of American comfort that I need. I know materially rich can go hand in hand with spiritually impoverished. Anyway, all this mulling over money and stewardship gets really tiring. I can't wait to get to heaven where the streets are paved with gold (ha! take that wall street), and the Lord has prepared a mansion for those who love him. But for today ... actually, tomorrow, I'm swaying between buying $100 ski boots (entry level) or $200 ski boots (medium performance). What should I do? I know that long term - who cares if I spent $100 or $200. But it matters because habits are formed by a series of individual actions and decisions. How I respond today can set a pattern about how I live tomorrow. So ... fullness of life ... man, this guy, Scott Crenshaw, a speaker at Lakewood, speaks about the sweetness of obedience. He talks about the highway of life - how temptations and compromise come and offer us an off-ramp from God's plan. "Take this shortcut - its easier and you'll get their faster. If you wait for God, it'll never happen! He doesn't care about you ..." And he talks about how when we make the decision to stay on God's road and pass the exit - the pure sweeeeeetness of that obedience. Man, it's so true. It's weird, but to do things God's way, with a clear conscience washed in the blood of Jesus - it's really food to the soul. And so lately, I've been struggling to find signifigance in this life - "what am I really created to do? am i wasting my time?" and fretting about somehow not being close enough to God - sort of in the midst of all that, God just creeps up sweetly and silently and says, "peace, be still ... just relax, I'm in control, and you're not a failure because I've got you!" God is a wellspring of encouragement and life and hope.